He's Fire And Ice And Rage

I have been told that lately things have been a bit depressing.

Actually, I think what I was told was:

[12:35] dickensfan63: I've just been feeling a bit down lately.
[12:41] thedothatgirl: You got a serious case of emo that you got to snap out of. Write about the things you like before you end up with a shitty haircut and I have to kick your ass for trying to steal my eyeliner.

So here are the things that I like.


• I like bananas and banana-flavored candies, especially if they're also banana-shaped.

• I like running down corridors, especially ones that are particularly twisty.

• I like the burbling noise of the TARDIS in mid flight.

• I like it when "funny" robots actually do something funny, like fall down a crater or say something terribly inappropriate that embarrasses their creator.

• I like talking very fast to people who can't catch up.

• I like debunking the references on incorrect Wikipedia pages (This, especially, after losing one week, four days, and thirteen hours to that ridiculous website during my sixth incarnation).

• I like the "sarcasm circuit" I've added to the TARDIS translation systems, because while it may create a very natural vernacular for most species, it makes talking to the most literal ones downright comical.

• I like it when people walk around the TARDIS in a great big circle (dubbed "pulling a Chesterton") to see if they can figure out why it's bigger on the inside.

• I like it when politicians are confused by the things that I say, completely lose their train of thought, and look incompetent (especially because they probably are).

• I like it when guns don't work. Just in general.

• I like it when companions ask me why we don't have things in the fridge, and then we go to an exotic place to eat.

• I like the term "Allons-y", especially when used after 2422, when French is abolished in the universe.

• I like trying to go somewhere and missing the mark completely, because wherever I've landed is no doubt more interesting.

• I like materializing in front of really bad traffic jams and how astonished everyone is when I get there first.

• I like going to particularly posh clubs and getting in with the psychic paper and all of the very fussy people there who can't understand how I got in.

• I like how there's always one bartender at the particularly posh clubs who thinks everyone else is absolutely ridiculous and will give me free drinks.

• I like doors that say DO NOT ENTER and buttons that say DO NOT PRESS because really interesting things happen when you enter and press them.


And those are just a small number of the things that make me happy.

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 459
Special thanks to faiththatfuelsu for use of her Faith and help with Faith's IM dialogue.

Pros and Cons of Never Speaking To Lucy Saxon Again

Pros
-Love life simplified
-No longer have to deal with catfighting (?) with the Master
-Romantic options are opened
-Sexual life simplified (non-existent)
-No longer insulted for sartorial taste
-No longer insulted for being skinny
-No longer insulted for driving capabilities
-No longer insulted for landing in the wrong place
-Explaining companion relationships is now simple
-Relationship with Master is simplified
-No longer have to listen to complaining
-No longer have to pretend to care about politics
-No longer have to worry about double-crossing companions
-Half-human companion no longer has reason to be jealous
-No more jealousy of "other" TARDIS crew
-No longer have to deal with silly arguments
-No longer have to worry about appearing idiotic during said arguments
-No longer have to teach about the TARDIS
-No longer have to give TARDIS tours
-Apples and oranges are, once again, apples and oranges only
-No longer need to worry about companion's silly high heels
-No longer have to worry about any sort of any tension
-No longer have to bother being polite on the Plane
-No longer need to practice complicated dances
-No longer have to worry about clothing choices
-No longer have to worry about hairstyle (outside of own opinion)
-No longer have to buy expensive birthday gifts
-No longer have to buy expensive Christmas gifts
-No longer have to buy anything unnecessary
-Shopping is no longer a requirement
-Shopping can actually be removed from the TARDIS itinerary completely (except for food)
-No longer have to explain myself ad nauseum
-No longer have to explain the TARDIS's quirks
-No longer have to deal with TARDIS's jealous feelings
-No longer have to explain TARDIS's feelings
-No longer have to worry about the safety of the TARDIS
-No longer have to worry about safety of companions
-No longer have to stifle opinions
-Self-respect restored


Cons
-Never get to speak to Lucy again

...

My usual method of decision making is useless here.

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 330
Based on RP in realityshifted

TARDIS INVENTORY:
Refrigerator

All possibly expired items to be marked with asterisk.

-200-year shelf life milk*
-Bubble shock (2 bottles)*
-Carrot Juice*
-Jam*
-Marmite*
The split in incarnations who like this is somewhat startling -ed
-Leftover Christmas pudding from 1978.*
-Leftover sausages*
-Orange juice*
It appears something has started living in it -ed
-Squareness gun battery
-Peppers*
-six vials of Sycorax blood

Conclusion: It might be about time to go shopping.

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 82

The Handy-Dandy Guide For Understanding the Doctor
Chapter Eight-Hundred-Forty-Four: Language
Words the Doctor has invented for things that do not have a word in the English language but should

Acurstux [a-kurs-tuks] n: A cursed tuxedo.

Adjustotie [ad-jus-o-ty] n: The unconscious need to adjust one's tie in an uncomfortable situation.

Aidshute [aed-sh-oot] n: That little red string that holds together the packaging around plastic bandages.

Bolsterperfecta [bullst-ur-purfek-ta] adj: Possessing the ability to be as loud and boisterous about one's abilities due to the fact that they just are that good.

Cologneway [co-lOn-wA] v: The act of spilling just a little bit of the cologne you got for Otherstide from your granddaughter in the sink of the lavatory so your granddaughter will never know you don't really like wearing cologne.

Correctomundo [kor-rek-to-moon-do] adj: So correct, it's physics correct! Don't ever use this one again, mmkay? –Ed

Credocracking [kured-O-crek-in] v: When one does not have a sonic screwdriver and is forced to open a lock with a credit card.

Doctorin [dok-tor-n] v: Making stuff up.

Doblosnacking [du-blo-snek-in] v: Grabbing two nibbles instead of one simply because there are two in a tray.

Esnothumpin [ets-noT-humpin] v: To reach across the console with one's legs to move controls on the other side. Not a sexual move. –Ed

Furbling [fur-bl-eng] v: Walking in a snakelike pattern through manmade barricades when there's no one else in line.

Gingvy [jin-j-vee] n: Envy over another's ginger hair.

Gleemole [gle-moL] adj: One who is gleeful upon the discovery that they now have a mole!

Jumperific [jum-pr-if-ik] adj: Not needing to change one's jumper (or suit!) no matter what time period or alien planet one lands on.

Magicish [maj-ik-ish] n: The reverse of Clarke's Law.

Metoganical [met-O-genikl] adj: Being both organic and mechanical. Like, oh, I don't know, the TARDIS? –Ed

Pearish [par-ish] adj: Texture that is both grainy and disgusting all at the same time.

Questyle [kwes-til] n: Having the ability to wear question marks as a fashion statement.

Ridonkulous [re-donk-yew-los] adj: It's so ridiculous, it might just work.

Smartvoidance [smurt-voy-das] v: To quickly direct the topic elsewhere.

Unobandonment [yew-no-bad-un-mint] n: When one's lover/companion leaves or is ripped away to another universe. Possibly doesn't need it's own word, but considering the number of times it's happened to me, it really should get one –Ed

Veggiestyle [vej-E-s-til] n: Having the ability to wear vegetables as fashion accessories.

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 379

TARDIS DECORATION AND ACTIVITY PLANS

New Years
1) Silly hats
2) Nibbles table
----a) Preferred nibbles include:
-----------Chips
-----------Little biscuits with sausage
-----------Sliced banana
-----------Sliced Celery (not this incarnation, thanks! -ed)
-----------Some variety of nut or root from current vegetative climate
3) Alcohol table
----a) Preferred alcoholic beverages include
-----------Hypervodka (terrible hangovers -ed)
-----------Champagne (it's really ridiculous how drunk you can get on such a little fizzy drink! -ed)
-----------Banana Daiquiris (it's all fun and games until Jack Harkness gets involved –ed)
-----------Lager (How can anyone drink this rubbish? –ed)
On second thought, nix the alcohol table and just try to have some good, clean fun.
D4) A suitable New Year destination. (It's no fun having New Year's on the 31st of August)

Intuitive Revolution Day
1) Silly hats
2) Various colored lights, preferably not Christmas-colored.
Note: Do not string on floor, barefoot walking on said lights is not pleasant at some early hour somewhere. –ed
3) Suitable music streaming from all radios of TARDIS
----Music considered "suitable"
-----------The Beatles
(When companion asks how a human band is suitable for a Gallifreayn holiday, DISTRACT! –ed)
4) Activities
----a) Brooding
----a) Reminiscing on being exiled followed by brooding
----a) Reminiscing on destroying home planet, being exiled, followed by brooding
----a) Reminiscing on being alone, destroying home planet, being exiled, to be followed by healthy brooding
----a) Remembering exactly what this holiday stands for
----b) Brooding

Valentine's Day
Removed from TARDIS databank at Doctor's request

Otherstide
1) Silly hats
2) Silver and blue streamers
3) Presents
----Actually remember to buy presents for this holiday
-----------No, honestly, Doctor, you can't forget this year.
4) Invite former Self out for drinks
(Remember to bring enough money for bail. At least for yourself if not him as well. –ed)

Easter
1) Silly hats
2) Bunny-shaped things, preferably candy
3) Egg-centric dishes, like quiche
(Remember to ask companion why eggs are such an important part of this holiday)
4) Chocolates
5) Activities
----Spend at least 3 hours with companion "egg hunting" for that one egg Susan never found your first year in the TARDIS. I think it's down in the lower wing somewhere, the smell's something awful.

Death of Omega
1) Silly hats
2) Grey streamers
3) Alcohol
----Remember to drink heavily and brag often.

November 1st
Your mother would want you to remember to do something to celebrate The Thirteenth Night. Light a candle or read some mimesis from Aristotle or something, would you?

Guy Fawkes Day
1) Silly hats
B2) Land somewhere with a bonfire
(Make sure you're not tied up to some stake on top of said bonfire)

Thanksgiving
1) Silly hats
2) Orange-and-red streamers
----You can never go wrong with streamers. Never!
-------Except that one time
-----------But that was hardly your fault!
3) Tablecloth and array of food
----And after that attempt fails, find somewhere that intergalactically delivers.
Note! Do not allow companion to convince you to go to any sort of American holiday gathering, especially "the first Thanksgiving". Blimey, that was a terrible experience!

Christmas
1) Silly hats
2) Wreath outside TARDIS doors
3) Air of cheer and delight mixed with that of grumpiness and discontentment
----Some people find this interesting
----Others may try to kill you
4) Always make sure to add a little disaster
----See: War Machines
----See: Sycorax invasion
----See: Donna's wedding
----See: Titanic disaster
----See: Every bloody Christmas you've ever had. Honestly, this is becoming a bit of an issue!
5) Fruitcake. Everyone likes this as a gift! Scratch that, no one likes fruitcake, apparently The Last of The Azetrotians loves fruitcake and will stall your execution as long as you have it! Always have it!
6) Presents
----For humans, get them at least something
------Remember to take note of important fruitcake information.
7) Mistletoe
----Avoid it.

Boxing Day
1) Silly hats
2) Red streamers
3) Activities
----Figure out what exactly this holiday is supposed to mean
----Figure out where exactly this holiday originated
----Update 21st century information tools to explain these things

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 707

Make A List Of the Things You Like About Halloween

-aniseed twists
-apples
-army & navy
-barley sugars
-chew sweets
-double dip sherbet
-drumstick lollies
-fizzers
-fruit crystals
-fruit pastilles
-fudge
-Fun (?) size chocolates
-ginger creams
-Haribo sweets
-jelly babies (naturally)
-kola cubes
-liquorice comfits
-lollypops
-love hearts
-parma violets
-peanuts
-poppets
-sugar lollies
-tablet
-tangerines
-toffee
-toffee apples
-winegums

Make A List Of the Things You Hate About Halloween

-stomachaches

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 72

Diary Entry. Subject: Things Done Today In Order To Preserve The Human Race
Current Mood: Accomplished
Note: Not Necessarily In This Order

-Sorted out that mess with the Hadron Collider, kept the human race from obliterating itself With a black hole. Note: Re-check in two months to keep project overwhelmed.

-Rediverted Sontaran Battle Cruisers back towards Sontar 4. I must say, the use of the wind re-direction mechanism on Jupiter was downright brilliant.

-Drained Torchwood 1 of their weapons' funds.

-Found three Graske breeding fields in Northern Wales, cleared them out. Though why didn't the locals notice screaming little monsters running about? Must talk to Jack about this.

-Made phone call to the Brigadier, stopped those ridiculous Microsoft commericals. Which really only preserved the sanity of Americans (such as it is), but it's something at least.

-Sat in on peace talks with the Neotinis and the Fretreras over new development areas. Reminded General Fre that mosquitos on Earth are considered an endangered species and the planet can therefore not be vaporized to make room for a parking lot. Not planning on dealing with that again.

Current Plans For Tomorrow

Save the world? I don't know, I make this part up as I go.

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 200

In which I get sentimental...so SHHH. I'm allowed my sentimental moments.

It's not often one can actually trace back the beginnings of a friendship. Especially when you're obnoxious like me and go "HAI THAR" to everyone you meet and only eventually realize that you've become amazing friends with someone. Like, I'm still not sure where this spouse of mine came from. He insists we met at a theater, but I just don't remember. Maybe I have a squid in my brain.

As it is, two years ago today (er, yesterday, as stupid RL made me unable to post this yesterday) I first chatted with the now-mun for ambitious_woman in this thread here. At the time I had only been playing the Doctor for two weeks and she was established as the resident TM Fred.

Her and I ended up chatting a lot, and eventually I introduced her to Doctor Who and, well, as they say, everything went downhill from there.

So! My list.

The Things I Have Learned As A Roleplayer (And A Person) From Being Friends With ambitious_woman

- One should always roleplay for themselves and for fun. Sometimes that means doing things other people don't get. Sometimes that means locking a thread until you're 100% finished with it. Sometimes it means locking a thread and never unlocking it. But as long as you and your RP partner(s) are having fun, that's all that matters.

- "One more tag before bed" is hardly ever one more tag.

- Sometimes saying that the pups won't become romantically involved at the beginning of the RP doesn't mean that they won't start talking Shakespeare to each other and the word "platonic" sort of gets thrown out the window.

- The most romantic stories don't always involve sex. Sometimes they don't even involve pleasant emotions.

- You are not always right. You're not always wrong, either. Thus, you should accept what you're right about and what you're wrong about and move on. Dwelling only leads to tummyaches.

- Christmas as a retailer sucks. RP Christmas parties are awesome distractions.

- BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES.

- RP is a shared experience. RP threads should be written by both partners, invented worlds should be co-created. Because unless you're walking into your muse's bedroom, there's no way they can expect absolutely everything they see or everything that happens. And that's usually the best part.

- Corsets kill people. Okay, maybe only my muse figured that one out.

- Quantity is only better than quality in the case of bottles of Diet Coke. Sometimes the best threads are the ones that take three months to complete.

- A sexually driven thread should always be different. If you can remove the names from an adult thread/story and still be able to tell which pups are involved, you're doing it right.

- Ferrets like Ipod cases.

- Angel was actually a good show after the Darla fiasco. Also, So You Think You Can Dance is not a horrific show. I refuse to say it's good. But I do like the contemporaries.

- Sophia Myles is a mini-goddess.

- Sometimes threads/storylines/plotlines don't work out. That doesn't mean you won't get upset, it doesn't mean you won't wish they worked, but sometimes they just don't. In which case, you work around it and move on.

- To err is human. To really fuck up requires that your name is "the Doctor".

- Replacing the "E" key on a keyboard is expensive.

- The best threads are the ones that are re-readable, especially on days when the muse is quiet and you think it's about time you said "TO FUCKING HELL WITH THIS". The best threads are the ones where you read it and go "But...I don't want to lose something like this." In case you were wondering, this one is mine.

- Being a friend doesn't mean you won't disagree. It doesn't mean you won't fight. It also doesn't mean you won't hurt each other. Being a friend means that you bring it up, talk it out, and things work out in the end.

Muse: The Doctor
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 683

Daily website schedule:

-http://rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com/friends
-http://www.soaps-r-us.co.uk/

Check on regular basis:

-http://www.badwolf.org.uk/
-http://www.banana.com/
-http://www.bbc.co.uk/entertainment/ghostwatch/
-http://www.deffryvale.co.uk/index.shtml
-http://www.deffryvaleschool.org.uk/
-http://www.geocomtex.net/
-http://www.guinevere.org.uk/
-http://www.haroldsaxon.co.uk/
-http://www.internationalelectromatics.co.uk/
-http://www.leamingtonspalifeboatmuseum.co.uk/
-http://www.millingdaleicecream.co.uk/
-http://www.myspace.com/marthajonesuk
-http://www.unit.org.uk/
-http://www.visittorchwood.co.uk/
-http://www.whoisdoctorwho.co.uk/

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who