rude_not_ginger: (earned the right to be so bold)
( Jun. 20th, 2010 11:54 pm)
Playing with [ profile] rude_not_ginger
A Drinking Game

Take One Shot If:
  • Tag is labeled "EMO EMO EMO"
  • Tag is labeled "ANGST ANGST ANGST"
  • Use of any icon with keyword "emo"
  • Tag is labeled "Mean!Ten is mean!"
  • Tag is labeled "Bastard!Ten is a bastard!"
  • Use of any icon with keyword "dark"
  • Use of any icon with the keyword "smug"
  • The Doctor says "Sorry, so sorry."
  • The Doctor does not get your sexual reference
  • The Doctor mentions being so alone
  • Any character playing opposite the Doctor openly states they do not like him
  • The Doctor purposefully does not respond to all of the questions asked of him
  • The writer forgets the closing quotation mark on her tag.

Take Two Shots If:
  • The Doctor namedrops
  • A PM/IM is sent asking "Mind if I have the Doctor do something ridiculous?"
  • A PM/IM is sent asking "Mind if I have the Doctor be an absolute jerk?"
  • Use of an icon involving your character as well as the Doctor
  • The TARDIS makes a brief appearance by thinking at the Doctor about a situation
  • The Doctor argues in a great big circle
  • Any planet landed on includes a number (such as Assiap 7) or the word "minor" or "major" (such as Androzani Minor)
  • An old skool monster makes a reappearance
  • An icon by [ profile] whremidnitedies is used
  • The writer vanishes for an amount of time, only to reappear with complaints about flatmates

Take Three Shots If:
  • A PM/IM is sent asking "Mind if I have the Doctor hurt your character?"
  • The Doctor initiates a kiss or romantic gesture
  • An icon featuring David Tennant from a non-Doctor Who role is used
  • The Doctor says "love", in any context
  • The Doctor references something from series 5
  • The Doctor uses a gun in any fashion
  • The writer fails to say "brb" before vanishing for a time

Drink The Whole Thing If:
  • An entire thread goes by without incident or trouble
  • Any alien actually listens to the Doctor and leaves
  • The Doctor initiates anything sexual
  • The Doctor opts to stay inside rather than explore
  • The Doctor calls any character (other than the TARDIS) his soulmate
  • The Doctor admits someone has better hair than he does
  • The Doctor tells your character his name
  • The Doctor asks your character to marry him/settle down
  • An entire thread is completed without any use of a keyword "emo" icon
At the request of [ profile] justamadman, here.

The Way To Style Your Hair
Like The Doctor's

It's all in the preparation.

Before Beginning

Step One

>>Select the style you want
>>>>Preferred Styles:
>>>>Sticky Uppy
>>>>Mussy Sticky Uppy
>>>>Rather Very Sticky Uppy
>>>>Faux Hawk

Step Two
>>Select the product you should use

>>Extra strong hold
>>Dries quickly
>>Leaves hair a little crispy with some residue
>>If overdone, will cause flakiness and people asking if you have dandruff

>>Adds gloss, definition and contrast
>>Is really just a waste of money

>>>>Hair Paste
>>Shiny, matte, yet doesn't dry out
>>They call it "flexible", it means it doesn't hold anything

>>>>Maple Syrup
>>Dries hard
>>Keeps hair firmly in place
>>Sweet smelling
>>Always have some in the kitchen
>>Rather sticky
>>Causes the "Do you have maple syrup in your hair?" question
>>Attracts bees

>>>>Moulding Gum
>>Natural effect, nice soft texture
>>Fairly long lasting
>>Sour smell (might be the container I used -ed.)

Step C Three

>>Assemble Equipment:

1) Hair Product
2) Hair
>>If you don't have this, you might want to reconsider
3) Mirror
>>Really, no, go find one.
4) Non-moving location
>>Also, from experience here, for the best.
5) Optional:

Preparing Hair

Step One

>>Clean Hair
>>>>Select a good shampoo

>>Preferred Shampoos:

>>>>>>Soft control
>>>>>>Fairly Inexpensive
>>>>>>Smells like a chemical factory

>>>>Venusian Lust
>>>>>>Fairly clean
>>>>>>Smells nice-ish
>>>>>>Leaves a funny sort of residue

>>>>Old Spice
>>>>>>Absolutely rubbish
>>>>>>Smells "manly"

>>>>Soap & Glory
>>>>>>Fantastic shampoo
>>>>>>Belongs to Donna, stop stealing

Step B Two

>>Do your hair
1. Cup forehead in hands once more and press in the middle of the forehead at hairline. Continue pressing upward to the crown of the head.
2. Supporting the head in the hands and with fingers at the base of the skull.
3. Draw fingers lightly through the hair several times, and off at the crown.
4. Oh, and at some point, but some product in your hair and rub it about a bit.
5. This should only take a few seconds. Any more and you've overdone it.

After completing

Go save the universe, you handsome devil, you.

I have been told that lately things have been a bit depressing.

Actually, I think what I was told was:

[12:35] dickensfan63: I've just been feeling a bit down lately.
[12:41] thedothatgirl: You got a serious case of emo that you got to snap out of. Write about the things you like before you end up with a shitty haircut and I have to kick your ass for trying to steal my eyeliner.

So here are the things that I like.

• I like bananas and banana-flavored candies, especially if they're also banana-shaped.

• I like running down corridors, especially ones that are particularly twisty.

• I like the burbling noise of the TARDIS in mid flight.

• I like it when "funny" robots actually do something funny, like fall down a crater or say something terribly inappropriate that embarrasses their creator.

• I like talking very fast to people who can't catch up.

• I like debunking the references on incorrect Wikipedia pages (This, especially, after losing one week, four days, and thirteen hours to that ridiculous website during my sixth incarnation).

• I like the "sarcasm circuit" I've added to the TARDIS translation systems, because while it may create a very natural vernacular for most species, it makes talking to the most literal ones downright comical.

• I like it when people walk around the TARDIS in a great big circle (dubbed "pulling a Chesterton") to see if they can figure out why it's bigger on the inside.

• I like it when politicians are confused by the things that I say, completely lose their train of thought, and look incompetent (especially because they probably are).

• I like it when guns don't work. Just in general.

• I like it when companions ask me why we don't have things in the fridge, and then we go to an exotic place to eat.

• I like the term "Allons-y", especially when used after 2422, when French is abolished in the universe.

• I like trying to go somewhere and missing the mark completely, because wherever I've landed is no doubt more interesting.

• I like materializing in front of really bad traffic jams and how astonished everyone is when I get there first.

• I like going to particularly posh clubs and getting in with the psychic paper and all of the very fussy people there who can't understand how I got in.

• I like how there's always one bartender at the particularly posh clubs who thinks everyone else is absolutely ridiculous and will give me free drinks.

• I like doors that say DO NOT ENTER and buttons that say DO NOT PRESS because really interesting things happen when you enter and press them.

And those are just a small number of the things that make me happy.

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 459
Special thanks to [ profile] faiththatfuelsu for use of her Faith and help with Faith's IM dialogue.
List Of All Negative Events/Enemies Survived By the Doctor

List compiling…

List compiling…

This might take a while…

Abzorbaloff (aka Victor Kennedy)
Angelo, Father
Baltazar, Scourge of the Galaxy
Beast, the
Beep the Meep
Black Guardian
BOSS (aka: Biomorphic Organisational Systems Supervisor)
Brother Lassar (aka: Mr. Finch)
Capel, Taren
Capricorn, Max
Captain, the
Carrionite Witches
Casp, Matron
Cassandra, Lady
Celestial Toymaker
Chase, Harrison
Cheif Caretaker
Chen, Mavic
Clockwork Men
Cobb, General
Cofelia, Matron (aka: Miss Foster)
Collector, the
Cranleigh, George
De Flores
Destroyer, the
Editor, the
Empress of the Racnoss
Family of Blood, the
Fendahl, the
Fenric, the
***DATABASE MALFUNCTION, SOME INFORMATION MAY BE LOST—though, really, what can you expect with a list of this size?***…
Finnegan, Florence (aka: Woman with straw)
Gods of Ragnarok
Greel, Magnus
Grendel, Count
Halpen, Klineman (aka: Ood Epsilon)
Hartigan, Mercy
Hartman, Yvonne
Headhunter (never did get her name)
Helen A
Jek, Sharaz
Kroagnon (aka: the Great Architect)
***DATABASE MALFUNCTION, SOME INFORMATION MAY BE LOST…It doesn't seem rightly fair, if you ask me, compiling a list like this. What could you possibly want it for, anyway?***
Lazarus, Richard
Lumic, John
Malus, the
Mara, the
Master of the Land of Fiction, the (not to be confused with the above)
Master, the
Meddling Monk
Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe, the (aka: Max)
Morgaine, the Sunkiller, Dominator of the Thirteen Worlds and Battle Queen of the S'rax
Morgus, Trau
***DATABASE MALFUNCTION, SOME INFORMATION MAY BE LOST…I can't see any possible reason this list needs to be made. It just seems like a waste of decent memory***
Oracle, the
Peinforte, Lady
Rani, the
Rattigan, Luke
Shadow, the
Sisters of Plenitude
***DATABASE MALFUNCTION, SOME INFORMATION MAY BE LOST…Now, really. After the S's it's all downhill. Do you have to continue? You're just pushing the data limits, here.***
Slitheen (in general, actually)
Slitheen, Blon Fel-Fotch Pasameer-Day (aka: Margaret Blaine)
Slitheen, Jocrassa Fel-Fotch Pasameer-Day (aka: Joseph Green MP)
Smith, Josiah Samuel
Solon, Mehendri
Toraji System Sun
Trickster, the
Unicorn, the (aka: Robina Redmond, though that wasn't really her name, either)
Valeyard, the
***DATABASE MALFUNCTION, SOME INFORMATION MAY BE LOST…You don't really need this list at all, do you, Doctor? You're just trying to gloat, aren't you?***
Van Statten, Henry
Vashta Nerada
Vaughn, Tobias
Vynda-K, Graff
War Chief, the
War Lord, the
Weeping Angels (aka: Lonely Assassins)
Will Operating Thought ANalogue (WOTAN)
Winters, Miss
Wire, the
Xanxia, Queen
Zaroff, Professor
Zodin (the Terrible)


…and don't ask me to upload that again. Please.

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 478
Pros and Cons of Never Speaking To Lucy Saxon Again

-Love life simplified
-No longer have to deal with catfighting (?) with the Master
-Romantic options are opened
-Sexual life simplified (non-existent)
-No longer insulted for sartorial taste
-No longer insulted for being skinny
-No longer insulted for driving capabilities
-No longer insulted for landing in the wrong place
-Explaining companion relationships is now simple
-Relationship with Master is simplified
-No longer have to listen to complaining
-No longer have to pretend to care about politics
-No longer have to worry about double-crossing companions
-Half-human companion no longer has reason to be jealous
-No more jealousy of "other" TARDIS crew
-No longer have to deal with silly arguments
-No longer have to worry about appearing idiotic during said arguments
-No longer have to teach about the TARDIS
-No longer have to give TARDIS tours
-Apples and oranges are, once again, apples and oranges only
-No longer need to worry about companion's silly high heels
-No longer have to worry about any sort of any tension
-No longer have to bother being polite on the Plane
-No longer need to practice complicated dances
-No longer have to worry about clothing choices
-No longer have to worry about hairstyle (outside of own opinion)
-No longer have to buy expensive birthday gifts
-No longer have to buy expensive Christmas gifts
-No longer have to buy anything unnecessary
-Shopping is no longer a requirement
-Shopping can actually be removed from the TARDIS itinerary completely (except for food)
-No longer have to explain myself ad nauseum
-No longer have to explain the TARDIS's quirks
-No longer have to deal with TARDIS's jealous feelings
-No longer have to explain TARDIS's feelings
-No longer have to worry about the safety of the TARDIS
-No longer have to worry about safety of companions
-No longer have to stifle opinions
-Self-respect restored

-Never get to speak to Lucy again


My usual method of decision making is useless here.

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 330
Based on RP in [ profile] realityshifted
Alias: The Doctor

*preferred title, actually. Generally used by a Mickey Smith. Also, possibly sarcastically.
Bringer of Darkness
*rough estimated translation
Dark Lord, the
*Lawsuit with J.K. notwithstanding
Destroyer of Worlds
*Goes quite well with "Bringer of Darkness", actually
Doctor Bowman
*From London
Doctor Caligari
*In a pinch, magicians get treated better in the average small town. At least by dentists.
Doctor Galloway
*Not to be confused with Doctor Halloway.
Doctor James McCrimmon
*Tragically, unable to keep a decent accent
Doctor McCoy
*Traveling with Kirk, of course.
Doctor Vile
*Martha may not have appreciated it, but I liked my pirate accent.
Doctor Von Wer
*I thought it was clever.
Doctor, the
*Ah, the old favorite. And the best, if you ask me.
Evil One, the
*A ridiculous exaggeration. The moderately rebellious is much more apt.
John Smith
Ka Faraq Gatri
*The original Dalek language. Sounds quite guttural.
Lonely Angel, the
*Every monster's nightmare.
*Wasn't my idea
Mr. Spock
*Also, not my idea.
of TARDIS, Doctor
*see also SIR Doctor
Oncoming Storm, the
*The most frequently mocked of my titles.
Professor, the
*Only by one very special young lady.
*The masculine, feminine, and neuter forms of silliness, if you ask me. Also, why am I always a wizard?
Rides In Night
*Though a majority of my travels are in the daytime.
Sir Doctor of TARDIS
*Figured it needed its own category
*Only called this by the best.
*Travels with Spartacus. Well, did.
Supremo, the
*An excellent title at the time.
Theta Sigma
*Don't call me this anymore.
Threefold Man, the
*Only by insane Daleks---is it just me or are a lot of my nicknames by Daleks?
Time's Champion
*As opposed to Death's Champion, I suppose.

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 287


All possibly expired items to be marked with asterisk.

-200-year shelf life milk*
-Bubble shock (2 bottles)*
-Carrot Juice*
The split in incarnations who like this is somewhat startling -ed
-Leftover Christmas pudding from 1978.*
-Leftover sausages*
-Orange juice*
It appears something has started living in it -ed
-Squareness gun battery
-six vials of Sycorax blood

Conclusion: It might be about time to go shopping.

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 82
Excepting times where I've viciously slaughtered the entire population of Earth, these are the canonical companions and reoccurring characters I've managed to either kill off in my stories, or reference their unfortunate demise. Canonical characters who have died do not count unless they're referenced in my stories.

The Doctor
The Master
The Rani
The Duplicate Tenth Doctor

Adam Mitchell
Alan Jackson
Anji Kapoor
Astrid Peth
Barbara Wright
Ben Jackson
Bernice Summerfield
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart
Charley Pollard
Chris Cwej
Clyde Langer
Dodo Chaplet
Donna Noble (Like, five times)
Evelyn Smythe
Fey Truscott-Sade
Fitz Kreiner
Grace Holloway
Grant Markham
Harry Sullivan
Ian Chesterton
Izzy Sinclair
Jack Harkness
Jackie Tyler
Jamie McCrimmon (he's next)
Jo Grant
Liz Shaw
Lucie Miller
Lucy Saxon
Luke Smith
Madame de Pompadour
Majenta Pryce
Maria Jackson
Martha Jones
Melanie Bush
Mickey Smith
Peri Brown
River Song
Rose Tyler
Roz Forrester
Sam Jones
Sara Kingdom
Sarah Jane Smith
Sergeant Yates
Stacy Townsend
Steven Taylor
Susan Foreman
Tegan Jovanka
Trix MacMillan
Victoria Waterfield
Vislor Turlough
Zoe Heriot

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 182
The Handy-Dandy Guide For Understanding the Doctor
Chapter Eight-Hundred-Forty-Four: Language
Words the Doctor has invented for things that do not have a word in the English language but should

Acurstux [a-kurs-tuks] n: A cursed tuxedo.

Adjustotie [ad-jus-o-ty] n: The unconscious need to adjust one's tie in an uncomfortable situation.

Aidshute [aed-sh-oot] n: That little red string that holds together the packaging around plastic bandages.

Bolsterperfecta [bullst-ur-purfek-ta] adj: Possessing the ability to be as loud and boisterous about one's abilities due to the fact that they just are that good.

Cologneway [co-lOn-wA] v: The act of spilling just a little bit of the cologne you got for Otherstide from your granddaughter in the sink of the lavatory so your granddaughter will never know you don't really like wearing cologne.

Correctomundo [kor-rek-to-moon-do] adj: So correct, it's physics correct! Don't ever use this one again, mmkay? –Ed

Credocracking [kured-O-crek-in] v: When one does not have a sonic screwdriver and is forced to open a lock with a credit card.

Doctorin [dok-tor-n] v: Making stuff up.

Doblosnacking [du-blo-snek-in] v: Grabbing two nibbles instead of one simply because there are two in a tray.

Esnothumpin [ets-noT-humpin] v: To reach across the console with one's legs to move controls on the other side. Not a sexual move. –Ed

Furbling [fur-bl-eng] v: Walking in a snakelike pattern through manmade barricades when there's no one else in line.

Gingvy [jin-j-vee] n: Envy over another's ginger hair.

Gleemole [gle-moL] adj: One who is gleeful upon the discovery that they now have a mole!

Jumperific [jum-pr-if-ik] adj: Not needing to change one's jumper (or suit!) no matter what time period or alien planet one lands on.

Magicish [maj-ik-ish] n: The reverse of Clarke's Law.

Metoganical [met-O-genikl] adj: Being both organic and mechanical. Like, oh, I don't know, the TARDIS? –Ed

Pearish [par-ish] adj: Texture that is both grainy and disgusting all at the same time.

Questyle [kwes-til] n: Having the ability to wear question marks as a fashion statement.

Ridonkulous [re-donk-yew-los] adj: It's so ridiculous, it might just work.

Smartvoidance [smurt-voy-das] v: To quickly direct the topic elsewhere.

Unobandonment [yew-no-bad-un-mint] n: When one's lover/companion leaves or is ripped away to another universe. Possibly doesn't need it's own word, but considering the number of times it's happened to me, it really should get one –Ed

Veggiestyle [vej-E-s-til] n: Having the ability to wear vegetables as fashion accessories.

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 379
New Year's Resolutions 1969
- Do not fall in love with companions
- Do not have companions forget you completely

New Year's Resolutions 1975
- Do not fall in love with companions
- Do not fall into depression due to destroying all of the Daleks

New Year's Resolutions 1981
- Do not fall in love with companions
- Do not lose companions to another universe

New Year's Resolutions 1983
- Do not fall in love with companions
- Do not fall into depression due to killing the Master

New Year's Resolutions 1984
- Do not fall in love with companions
- Do not drive companions away

New Year's Resolutions 1989
- Do not fall in love with companions
- Do not fall into depression due to destroying all of the Daleks

New Year's Resolutions 1995
- Do not fall in love with companions
- Do not fall into depression due to killing the Master

New Year's Resolutions 2005
- Do not fall in love with companions
- Do not fall into depression due to destroying all of the Daleks

New Year's Resolutions 2006
- Do not fall in love with companions
- Do not lose companions to another universe

New Year's Resolutions 2007
- Do not fall in love with companions
- Do not drive companions away
- Do not fall into depression due to killing the Master

New Year's Resolutions 2008
- Do not fall in love with companions
- Do not have companions forget you completely

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 245

New Years
1) Silly hats
2) Nibbles table
----a) Preferred nibbles include:
-----------Little biscuits with sausage
-----------Sliced banana
-----------Sliced Celery (not this incarnation, thanks! -ed)
-----------Some variety of nut or root from current vegetative climate
3) Alcohol table
----a) Preferred alcoholic beverages include
-----------Hypervodka (terrible hangovers -ed)
-----------Champagne (it's really ridiculous how drunk you can get on such a little fizzy drink! -ed)
-----------Banana Daiquiris (it's all fun and games until Jack Harkness gets involved –ed)
-----------Lager (How can anyone drink this rubbish? –ed)
On second thought, nix the alcohol table and just try to have some good, clean fun.
D4) A suitable New Year destination. (It's no fun having New Year's on the 31st of August)

Intuitive Revolution Day
1) Silly hats
2) Various colored lights, preferably not Christmas-colored.
Note: Do not string on floor, barefoot walking on said lights is not pleasant at some early hour somewhere. –ed
3) Suitable music streaming from all radios of TARDIS
----Music considered "suitable"
-----------The Beatles
(When companion asks how a human band is suitable for a Gallifreayn holiday, DISTRACT! –ed)
4) Activities
----a) Brooding
----a) Reminiscing on being exiled followed by brooding
----a) Reminiscing on destroying home planet, being exiled, followed by brooding
----a) Reminiscing on being alone, destroying home planet, being exiled, to be followed by healthy brooding
----a) Remembering exactly what this holiday stands for
----b) Brooding

Valentine's Day
Removed from TARDIS databank at Doctor's request

1) Silly hats
2) Silver and blue streamers
3) Presents
----Actually remember to buy presents for this holiday
-----------No, honestly, Doctor, you can't forget this year.
4) Invite former Self out for drinks
(Remember to bring enough money for bail. At least for yourself if not him as well. –ed)

1) Silly hats
2) Bunny-shaped things, preferably candy
3) Egg-centric dishes, like quiche
(Remember to ask companion why eggs are such an important part of this holiday)
4) Chocolates
5) Activities
----Spend at least 3 hours with companion "egg hunting" for that one egg Susan never found your first year in the TARDIS. I think it's down in the lower wing somewhere, the smell's something awful.

Death of Omega
1) Silly hats
2) Grey streamers
3) Alcohol
----Remember to drink heavily and brag often.

November 1st
Your mother would want you to remember to do something to celebrate The Thirteenth Night. Light a candle or read some mimesis from Aristotle or something, would you?

Guy Fawkes Day
1) Silly hats
B2) Land somewhere with a bonfire
(Make sure you're not tied up to some stake on top of said bonfire)

1) Silly hats
2) Orange-and-red streamers
----You can never go wrong with streamers. Never!
-------Except that one time
-----------But that was hardly your fault!
3) Tablecloth and array of food
----And after that attempt fails, find somewhere that intergalactically delivers.
Note! Do not allow companion to convince you to go to any sort of American holiday gathering, especially "the first Thanksgiving". Blimey, that was a terrible experience!

1) Silly hats
2) Wreath outside TARDIS doors
3) Air of cheer and delight mixed with that of grumpiness and discontentment
----Some people find this interesting
----Others may try to kill you
4) Always make sure to add a little disaster
----See: War Machines
----See: Sycorax invasion
----See: Donna's wedding
----See: Titanic disaster
----See: Every bloody Christmas you've ever had. Honestly, this is becoming a bit of an issue!
5) Fruitcake. Everyone likes this as a gift! Scratch that, no one likes fruitcake, apparently The Last of The Azetrotians loves fruitcake and will stall your execution as long as you have it! Always have it!
6) Presents
----For humans, get them at least something
------Remember to take note of important fruitcake information.
7) Mistletoe
----Avoid it.

Boxing Day
1) Silly hats
2) Red streamers
3) Activities
----Figure out what exactly this holiday is supposed to mean
----Figure out where exactly this holiday originated
----Update 21st century information tools to explain these things

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 707

The Doctor's Guide
To Picking Up Women


1. Always be ridiculously mysterious.
--Never reveal anything about your past that isn't immediately significant including (but not limited to):
----Past enemies
----Past romances
----The name of your home planet
----Your actual age
----Whether or not evil cults are out to get you
----How many planets you have destroyed
----How many planets you are wanted on
----Whether or not you really have a mole between your shoulderblades

--If your past is not mysterious enough, you must make it look as mysterious as possible. When asked about your past, don't lie. Avoid in the most dramatic ways possible. Such as:
----Inappropriate humor
----Extremely sad looks

--If companion/female associate continues to pressure, say something dramatic that has nothing to do with the situation at all. Example:
----The leaves on the trees of Gallifrey
----Legend of the Tempered Schism
----Stuff About Your Dog

2. Act disinterested
--Women like a challenge. So, when in doubt, be as disinterested in every sexual situation as you possibly can. Some analyzers believe this can frustrate a woman into disinterest herself, but from personal experience, I can tell you that it becomes her goal to make sure she is more interesting to you than the universe exploding. Just remember that the universe exploding actually is a little more important than picking up aforementioned woman, so schedule accordingly.

3. Learn the finer points of technobabble.
--Women love intelligent men, but no matter how intelligent you are you may not know everything. That's when you make it up and make it sound good. Suggestions:
----Timey-wimey wibbly-wobbly
----Technical terms for "magic door"
----Reversing the polarity of the neutron flow

4. Practice scenario-appropriate "pick up lines".
--Such as:
----You have cocoa, I'll make hot chocolate!
----Companions can always wear skirts catsuits on board!
----We're imprisoned again? Lounge on me.
----It's always safer to hold hands when racing across the street.
----I'm not missing Heathrow on purpose! But while we're here, let's look around…
----I'll fish in this empty lake; you sulk nearby in a bikini.
----I had no idea that doing that would mean we're married!
----How about a goodbye shag kiss?
----You've got a little Time Vortex in your mouth, let me fix that for you.
----There's an old tradition, you know…

5. Be a fantastic kisser.
--Use scenery.
----Applicable: Walls, trees, fireplaces, etc.
--Make her kiss you.
----That way if your companion doesn't like it you can claim you didn't kiss back.
--And, when in doubt, practice on unsuspecting medical students. Just make sure to remind them that it means "nothing, absolutely nothing."

6. Learn your hugging styles.
--Pre-Danger Hugging
--Mid-Danger Hugging
--Post-Danger Hugging
Remember! There is ONLY mid-danger kissing! All other kissing is goodbye kissing!

--I hate pears.

8. Occasionally say off-the-wall nonsequitors.
--They make you interesting.


1. Look fantastic in a suit.

2. Look fantastic in leather.

3. Look fantastic in costumewear.

4. Look fantastic in gimmicky vests.

5. Look fantastic in Technicolor.

6. Look fantastic in sportswear.

7. Look fantastic in scarves.

8. Look fantastic in velvet.

9. Look fantastic in fur.

10. Look fantastic in plaid.


Accessorizing is key
--Possible accessories I have found work well:
----Flashy vehicle
----Unexplained and possibly illegitimate dependants (such as daughters and granddaughters)

Hair should be as big as possible and ginger whenever possible
--I don't think an explanation is necessary for this one. It's pretty self-explanatory.

Practice your brooding face!
--It should be as puppy-dog and sad as possible.
----Messing this up could mess up the entire mysterious bit from before.

Know when to fit in with the local sartorial style.
--And when it's really just best to change your jumper.

1. Have a tuxedo.
2. Make sure it's cursed.
3. Get it damaged to the point of destruction over the course of your time wearing it then mysteriously get it repaired while no one is looking.

In conclusion:

When in doubt, be as much like the Doctor as you can.

After all, it works fairly well for me.

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 665
Make A List Of the Things You Like About Halloween

-aniseed twists
-army & navy
-barley sugars
-chew sweets
-double dip sherbet
-drumstick lollies
-fruit crystals
-fruit pastilles
-Fun (?) size chocolates
-ginger creams
-Haribo sweets
-jelly babies (naturally)
-kola cubes
-liquorice comfits
-love hearts
-parma violets
-sugar lollies
-toffee apples

Make A List Of the Things You Hate About Halloween


Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 72
Diary Entry. Subject: Things Done Today In Order To Preserve The Human Race
Current Mood: Accomplished
Note: Not Necessarily In This Order

-Sorted out that mess with the Hadron Collider, kept the human race from obliterating itself With a black hole. Note: Re-check in two months to keep project overwhelmed.

-Rediverted Sontaran Battle Cruisers back towards Sontar 4. I must say, the use of the wind re-direction mechanism on Jupiter was downright brilliant.

-Drained Torchwood 1 of their weapons' funds.

-Found three Graske breeding fields in Northern Wales, cleared them out. Though why didn't the locals notice screaming little monsters running about? Must talk to Jack about this.

-Made phone call to the Brigadier, stopped those ridiculous Microsoft commericals. Which really only preserved the sanity of Americans (such as it is), but it's something at least.

-Sat in on peace talks with the Neotinis and the Fretreras over new development areas. Reminded General Fre that mosquitos on Earth are considered an endangered species and the planet can therefore not be vaporized to make room for a parking lot. Not planning on dealing with that again.

Current Plans For Tomorrow

Save the world? I don't know, I make this part up as I go.

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 200
Information File [ IF ]

Opening Planetary notation chart...

Chart open.

Planetary chart by color code listing

Blue notates planets destroyed in the Last Great Time War along with date of destruction.

[ A ]

Abydos A
Adipose 3
Would be red, but they owe me one. -ed
Located in E-Space
Beware Mistfall and no, I'm not being more specific than that, go look it up if you think I'm being to mysterious.-ed

Anagonia A
When Compassion asks, this is where she's from.-ed
Androzani Major
Androzani Minor

They're just generally not nice places.-ed
See Skonnos for more details.
Aractus A
421456.C RE Daleks vs. Time Lords, undefined winner
Also, useful trivia: Arcadian diamond recently stolen!

Arcateen V
Fantastic poetry. Not sure how I feel about the criminal justice system.-ed
Not a terrible location for a holiday, but I always feel old there.-ed
Everywhere I go seems to be desert, nowadays.-ed
Arkannis Major
AKA: Colony World 4378976.Delta Four, Oneiros, Journey's End, Discovery
This is (apparently) a lovely picnicking spot.-ed
Astra A
Augea A
421896.A RE Daleks vs. Zygons, by body count Daleks considered winner.
421777.A RE Daleks vs. Time Lords, by body count Time Lords considered winner.
Axista Four

Default setting: Ignore color notation and select planet at random?

...randomization complete.
In which I get SHHH. I'm allowed my sentimental moments.

It's not often one can actually trace back the beginnings of a friendship. Especially when you're obnoxious like me and go "HAI THAR" to everyone you meet and only eventually realize that you've become amazing friends with someone. Like, I'm still not sure where this spouse of mine came from. He insists we met at a theater, but I just don't remember. Maybe I have a squid in my brain.

As it is, two years ago today (er, yesterday, as stupid RL made me unable to post this yesterday) I first chatted with the now-mun for [ profile] ambitious_woman in this thread here. At the time I had only been playing the Doctor for two weeks and she was established as the resident TM Fred.

Her and I ended up chatting a lot, and eventually I introduced her to Doctor Who and, well, as they say, everything went downhill from there.

So! My list.

The Things I Have Learned As A Roleplayer (And A Person) From Being Friends With [ profile] ambitious_woman

- One should always roleplay for themselves and for fun. Sometimes that means doing things other people don't get. Sometimes that means locking a thread until you're 100% finished with it. Sometimes it means locking a thread and never unlocking it. But as long as you and your RP partner(s) are having fun, that's all that matters.

- "One more tag before bed" is hardly ever one more tag.

- Sometimes saying that the pups won't become romantically involved at the beginning of the RP doesn't mean that they won't start talking Shakespeare to each other and the word "platonic" sort of gets thrown out the window.

- The most romantic stories don't always involve sex. Sometimes they don't even involve pleasant emotions.

- You are not always right. You're not always wrong, either. Thus, you should accept what you're right about and what you're wrong about and move on. Dwelling only leads to tummyaches.

- Christmas as a retailer sucks. RP Christmas parties are awesome distractions.


- RP is a shared experience. RP threads should be written by both partners, invented worlds should be co-created. Because unless you're walking into your muse's bedroom, there's no way they can expect absolutely everything they see or everything that happens. And that's usually the best part.

- Corsets kill people. Okay, maybe only my muse figured that one out.

- Quantity is only better than quality in the case of bottles of Diet Coke. Sometimes the best threads are the ones that take three months to complete.

- A sexually driven thread should always be different. If you can remove the names from an adult thread/story and still be able to tell which pups are involved, you're doing it right.

- Ferrets like Ipod cases.

- Angel was actually a good show after the Darla fiasco. Also, So You Think You Can Dance is not a horrific show. I refuse to say it's good. But I do like the contemporaries.

- Sophia Myles is a mini-goddess.

- Sometimes threads/storylines/plotlines don't work out. That doesn't mean you won't get upset, it doesn't mean you won't wish they worked, but sometimes they just don't. In which case, you work around it and move on.

- To err is human. To really fuck up requires that your name is "the Doctor".

- Replacing the "E" key on a keyboard is expensive.

- The best threads are the ones that are re-readable, especially on days when the muse is quiet and you think it's about time you said "TO FUCKING HELL WITH THIS". The best threads are the ones where you read it and go "But...I don't want to lose something like this." In case you were wondering, this one is mine.

- Being a friend doesn't mean you won't disagree. It doesn't mean you won't fight. It also doesn't mean you won't hurt each other. Being a friend means that you bring it up, talk it out, and things work out in the end.

Muse: The Doctor
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 683
Aka: Why the TARDIS is better than a regular female partner.

This is possibly the most misogynistic thing I have ever written and for that I apologize in advance. )

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 423
- Don't forget Rose's Earth Day Party
- Set up donations for Cassidy Mutant Health Center for John Allerdyce
- Grocery shop
- Call Martha, ask where she's put the little "While you were out" papers
- Buy flowers for Lorna, she could use some cheering up
- Lunch with Ford
- Buy new laser spanner
- Drop Nathan and Peter emails
- Thank you letter for Tir Na N'Og for the tour
- Don't forget Rose's Earth Day Party
- Get Haircut
- Experiment on Dorothy's slippers
- Write pre-experimentation apology letters to Dorothy in case something goes wrong
- Hide monkeymug
- Get Alec home at a reasonable hour
- Buy mercury
- Tea with the Rani?
- Visit Sarah Jane and Luke!
- Rewire subterfelian hoses below the console
- Don't forget Rose's Earth Day Party
- Drinks with Jack, bring new Gimbus line
- Reprint apology letters for Jack's spouses
- Couples therapy Thursday
- Take Ruby somewhere else extremely warm
- Apologize to Reinette (you know you have a reason)
- Check in on Sylar, it's been a while
- Really, though, you should get a haircut
- Repair jacket
- Check on the Brigadier and Donna

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 202
No specific universe, just based on lots of crazy interactions with awesome pups!


rude_not_ginger: (Default)
The Doctor


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Powered by Dreamwidth Studios

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags