How The Doctor Does His Hair

[rude_not_ginger]

At the request of justamadman, here.

The Way To Style Your Hair
Like The Doctor's

It's all in the preparation.

Before Beginning

Step One
>>Select the style you want
>>>>Preferred Styles:
>>>>Sticky Uppy
>>>>Mussy Sticky Uppy
>>>>Rather Very Sticky Uppy
>>>>Faux Hawk

Step Two
>>Select the product you should use

>>>>Gel
>>Benefits:
>>Extra strong hold
>>Shiny
>>Dries quickly
>>Negatives:
>>Leaves hair a little crispy with some residue
>>If overdone, will cause flakiness and people asking if you have dandruff

>>>>Wax
>>Benefits:
>>Adds gloss, definition and contrast
>>Long-lasting
>>Versatile
>>Negatives:
>>Greasy
>>Is really just a waste of money

>>>>Hair Paste
>>Benefits:
>>Shiny, matte, yet doesn't dry out
>>Negatives:
>>They call it "flexible", it means it doesn't hold anything

>>>>Maple Syrup
>>Benefits:
>>Dries hard
>>Keeps hair firmly in place
>>Sweet smelling
>>Always have some in the kitchen
>>Negatives:
>>Rather sticky
>>Causes the "Do you have maple syrup in your hair?" question
>>Attracts bees

>>>>Moulding Gum
>>Benefits:
>>Natural effect, nice soft texture
>>Versatile
>>Fairly long lasting
>>Negatives:
>>Sour smell (might be the container I used -ed.)

Step C Three

>>Assemble Equipment:

1) Hair Product
2) Hair
>>If you don't have this, you might want to reconsider
3) Mirror
>>Really, no, go find one.
4) Non-moving location
>>Also, from experience here, for the best.
5) Optional:
>>>>Hairbrush

Preparing Hair

Step One
>>Clean Hair
>>>>Select a good shampoo

>>Preferred Shampoos:

>>>>Pantene
>>>>>>Soft control
>>>>>>Fairly Inexpensive
>>>>>>Smells like a chemical factory

>>>>Venusian Lust
>>>>>>Fairly clean
>>>>>>Smells nice-ish
>>>>>>Leaves a funny sort of residue

>>>>Old Spice
>>>>>>Absolutely rubbish
>>>>>>Smells "manly"

>>>>Soap & Glory
>>>>>>Fantastic shampoo
>>>>>>Belongs to Donna, stop stealing

Step B Two

>>Do your hair
1. Cup forehead in hands once more and press in the middle of the forehead at hairline. Continue pressing upward to the crown of the head.
2. Supporting the head in the hands and with fingers at the base of the skull.
3. Draw fingers lightly through the hair several times, and off at the crown.
4. Oh, and at some point, but some product in your hair and rub it about a bit.
5. This should only take a few seconds. Any more and you've overdone it.

After completing

Go save the universe, you handsome devil, you.

Comments

[speed-of-snark.livejournal.com]

You win at life.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

I do my best! =D

This was great fun to write.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Maple syrup? So that what that smell was. And you know, this isn't the sort of routine you want to make public.

Though if you ever need any help with that step two there...

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

As a matter of fact, yes. That is what that smell was and it isn't my fault, I just grabbed the wrong bottle. I thought the breakfast tasted a little off, too. Bleugh. And! Inquiring minds wanted to know!

Oh, no. Not the hair, Jack. Never the hair.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Never the hair? See my memory begs to differ.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

[clears throat]

I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you have every idea what I'm talking about.

1/2

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'm confused now. What are we talking about?

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

I could give you a demonstration. Maybe that'd jog your memory.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

That might not be a bad---

Wait, demonstration of what?

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Oh please, you're really not that stupid. Think about it.

(sooo ooc)

[notanemptymotto.livejournal.com]

Old Spice, hm?

/just gonna leave THIS here.

Re: (sooo ooc)

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

I LOL'd.

[aintnoconvict]

/scribbling many notes

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

You'll have to make room for the zipper, Glitch! But I imagine you can make it work!

[galeforcehero.livejournal.com]

There is nothing wrong with Old Spice. You're just unreasonably picky.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

It is NOT unreasonable. It's a reasonable pickiness.

[hofficoffi.livejournal.com]

Congratulations. You're worse than Jack.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

But my hair is better than Jack's.

Correlation!

[hofficoffi.livejournal.com]

More likely to defy gravity, certainly.

[alan-skater-boy.livejournal.com]

EPIC.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Thanks! =D

[magicalskeptic.livejournal.com]

I always knew you were too enamored with your own hair.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

It's not enamoured. It's...affectionate.

[magicalskeptic.livejournal.com]

It is obsessive.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Says the woman with perfectly segmented ringlets in her hair.

[pi-sparrow.livejournal.com]

Maple syrup? That...explains a lot.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

I told you the bees weren't interested in you.

[pi-sparrow.livejournal.com]

They were also a foot and a half long, can't blame me for not caring which of us they were after.

{ so ooc, i cannot even begin }

[justamadman.livejournal.com]

You forgot rooster.

Re: { so ooc, i cannot even begin }

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

I refuse to acknowledge that is a hairstyle.

Yours is floppy.