for quitehomoerotic: Welcome to the 27th century

[rude_not_ginger]

Follows this.

It was one thing, watching your companion be ripped apart.

One very terrible thing, mind you, but one thing. The Doctor stayed prone on the ground, the sound of Jack's death screams ringing in his ears as that thing, whatever it was, tore him into several unpleasant pieces. It reminded him of the Year That Wasn't, of Jack's screams while the Master tortured him and the Doctor's frail body keeping him from helping. That was torture, far more brutal than anything the Master's tools could produce.

Once the loud stomps of the creature faded away, the Doctor struggled to get to his feet and limped to the place where Jack had been.

It was another thing, having to find his body for it to regrow.

It took some time to find his upper torso, limp and lifeless. It didn't take too terribly long to drag said upper torso to a safe, empty cave not far from the forest's edge (after all, what Jack no longer had in height, he also lost in weight. It didn't take long for time to start snapping around him and his body to start to regrow.

That was something else all together. Muscle and bone formed out of nothing, and while Jack wasn't coherent, he was still alive, screaming and thrashing as he reformed. The Doctor pressed his fingertips to Jack's temple and tried to take away the pain, but when that failed, he pressed his mind into a quiet, comatose state.

While Jack repaired, the Doctor covered him with his coat and sat, waiting. For all that they'd fought, for all that the Doctor swore he'd never want Jack back on the TARDIS again, he did care about him. He wanted him happy, even if he wasn't certain he could handle having him so close. Jack was willing to die for the Doctor, and this was just another example of how he could.

But the Doctor wouldn't leave. Not this time.

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[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

The Doctor's touch felt like dipping an aching burn into a soothing cool bath. A sting subsided and he let out a deep and shaking breath that the pain had disallowed him.

"No you wouldn't," Jack protested, shaking his head a little and gripping tighter onto the Doctor's hand, "you never would. You're a better person than me, Doctor. A much better person."

He closed his eyes for a moment to try and focus a little. The pain was pushed back, thanks to the Doctor, and though Jack knew it should be there, it was only a ghost of an ache that he felt.

He went on, rambling a little without meaning to, "I try and be a better person, I do. See that's what you do to people, Doctor; you make them want to be better. People see you and the things you do and they want to be worthy." If he were in control of his faculties a little better, he might have stopped himself there. But as it was, he didn't.

"But that's the thing, Doctor. Nobody ever will. I mean, I try and pretend what you do doesn't blow me away, but it does, it still does. You light up the universe just by being in it, Doctor. And the trouble is you don't even know it. You have no idea how important and special you are."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The pain he pulled from Jack coursed down the Doctor's legs. It was unbelievable, thinking that he once had to do this to his entire body. The Doctor swallowed, and kept his face as relaxed and open as he could.

Jack's words made him smile. "You don't have to say those things, Jack, you know I already love myself. I'm just glad you realize how amazing I am, too."

His words held no real depth, of course. Yes, he was rather fond of his achievements, but he knew better than Jack the things he did to companions. He tore Sarah Jane's love away from her, he denied Jack his family by not being there for the attack from the 456. And yet, somehow, Jack remained, pledging his adoration.

"Relax. I'm not going anywhere."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack tried to laugh, though it didn't completely work. "You don't have to lie to me, Doctor," he hissed out as he squeezed on his hand, "I see right through you. But you are amazing, you just need to start believing your own hype."

Part of Jack was the most scared because he was sure that as soon as he was fixed, the Doctor would go and Jack wouldn't go with him. He'd made it quite clear that there was no place for him any more, not with him.

Being alone was saddening at the best of times. The thought of that now was downright terrifying.

"Yes you are," Jack said, correcting him, "you've got to go back to the TARDIS. Little ship'll be missing you if you don't, and you know she'll only get angry." He couldn't help but still have that new found fondness for the TARDIS. It developed and grew as much as his feelings for the Doctor had in recent weeks.

"We had some good times though, didn't we, Doctor?" he went on. He wanted his goodbye. He really really wanted it. If things were going to end (and despite the Doctor saying he wasn't going anywhere, Jack couldn't quite absorb it), he wanted to have things end with a goodbye that he could at least remember.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Stop that. I'm not leaving you. I did that once, never again, remember?"

The Doctor pulled Jack into a hug, then, wrapping his arms around his shoulders firmly, while trying not to shift his upper torso too much. He held him close.

Holding him like this, he hoped, could cover up the incredible relief he knew his face was betraying. When Jack didn't come back, he could feel the timelines snapping back, but he wasn't sure. Wasn't sure it would work this time, too. Maybe, in this world, Jack wasn't able to reform. Maybe he needed the TARDIS, maybe---well, just maybe.

Having him alive and insisting the Doctor leave, well, that was a hell of a lot better than having him the way he was before.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack wrapped his arms just as tightly around the Doctor and gripped onto him for dear life; as though he was terrified he might just fade away if he didn't. He ducked his head in a little, burying it in the crook of the Doctor's, taking comfort in his arms and the familiarity of his grasp.

"I'm sorry," he said again, muffled against the collar of the Doctor's suit. "I got us into all this. I got you hurt, I put you in all this danger and for what? I'm dangerous, Doctor, and I hurt everyone I love."

He could say it like that, because as much as they both knew he was using the word love in the same sentence as referring to the Doctor, he a) wasn't looking at him as he said it, and b) was talking generally enough for it to be glossed over.

"You should be in the TARDIS now, or exploring the wild hills on Kirdap Major, not here with me, not having to go through all of this. I've done nothing the last few weeks but make it difficult for you."

Each word was spoken as he still held tight onto the Doctor. Held tight and clung to what time they had.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Yes, yes, we'll all have a good self-pity," the Doctor said, but he didn't pull back from the embrace.

For all that the Doctor was chastising Jack, he was thinking the exact same thing. Jack should've been off somewhere, not regrowing his lower body because of the Doctor. If the Doctor had just stayed in the flat back in Cardiff, maybe pretended to be asleep or something so they wouldn't have to talk about the with with conversation, maybe if he'd just thought before he'd acted...

And a small buzz in the back of his mind said that maybe if he agreed to what Jack wanted instead of pulling away out of fear...but that was a voice not to be listened to.

"I don't know how long night lasts here," he said. "You should rest while you can. I'll stay up, keep an eye out."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"No," Jack said, shaking his head a little for added emphasis.

Shifting back from the tight hug, Jack looked up at the Doctor's face and gripped tight onto his arm. Inside he was still hurting, but he was never a man that let that get in the way, if he had anything do to with it.

"No, I need to stay awake." He wasn't quite sure why he needed to stay awake, other than being quite certain he did. He wouldn't sleep while there was danger out there, and if he could do anything at all he wouldn't put the Doctor directly in that line of danger.

"How long was I out?" he asked, "it must have been hours, we need to get moving. I'm sorry you had to see... well, you know." Jack knew his 'wrongness' was a thing of discomfort for the Doctor. Anyone having to watch someone reconstruct wouldn't find it a pleasant experience, he was sure, but for someone who was so time sensitive as the Doctor, Jack was sure it would be so much worse.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Doesn't matter," the Doctor said, firmly. "We can't go out there yet. If something that unpleasant comes out during the day, I don't want to imagine what could come out at night."

As if to emphasize his point, a five-foot-long centipede-like creature scurried past the entrance of the cave. It stopped to brush its antennae against the edge of the entrance, but then sped past, apparently having lost interest.

"If it isn't light in another few hours, we'll head out again."

He gently pulled himself from Jack's hands, and slipped off his suit jacket. He wadded it up and lifted Jack's head, to put it under as a pillow.

"You've still got some rebuilding to do, I imagine," he said.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Doctor, your suit, you'll be cold," Jack protested, but his body didn't want to listen to his brain, and he leaned himself back against the fabric, glancing his eyes up at the ceiling of the cave chiselled into the stone.

"A bit," he admitted quietly, "I'm not sure I've got much in the way of toes yet." He sighed and glanced down at the Doctor's coat over him, smiling a little softly.

"It should hurt more than this though," he mused to himself, frowning slightly confused. "What did you do?"

And then, quite separate to his question, he added sadly, "I'll have no shoes now. I hate walking without shoes."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Nothing you haven't done for me in the past," the Doctor replied. He remembered the TARDIS's pain, and how Jack took that away from her, nearly sacrificing himself in the process. The arguments earlier that night seemed to pale in comparison to what he'd done for the Doctor and the TARDIS before.

He leaned back against the cave wall again, pulling one knee up to lean his arms against, letting his injured leg stay prone. It was cold, but so long as he concentrated, he couldn't really feel it. There were more important things right now than cold, like helping Jack heal.

"First your shirt, now your trousers. I think you're just looking for a new wardrobe," he teased.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"And I'd do all over again," Jack pointed out. Pain was horrible, of course, and given the choice he'd rather not go through it. But if it meant keeping someone important to him safe, then he'd do it a hundred times over.

Turning his head he looked over at the Doctor to watch him through half closed lids. He laughed gently, though it hurt inside and he winced a little from it. But it was pleasant in it's own strange little way.

"Either that or it's just my elaborate version of a striptease," he added, smiling over at him.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor let out a laugh. "I think we both know you don't need anything elaborate."

A few hours ago, certainly not. Jack had been wandering around his flat in little more than a bath towel wrapped around his waist, and the Doctor had hardly noticed. Well, he'd noticed, but it wasn't an uncomfortable sort of notice.

"We'll figure out something for your feet once it's light out. I don't want to risk you getting poisoned by something out there."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Oh I'll cope," Jack said flippantly, shaking his hand a little absently. "I was once stuck for three weeks on an ice planet in nothing but a loin cloth. Good job I made good friends easily, that woolly mammoth kept me nice and warm." He was joking... mostly.

He smiled over at him, a little more genuine than the light heartedness of his words. "Why did you stay?" he asked softly. "You could have gone, it's not like you owe me anything."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Why did you run out in front of that creature?" the Doctor retorted, quickly. "We all have our reasons."

And the Doctor was, not too subtly, not telling Jack what his were.

"Besides, I figured you'd want somewhere to stitch yourself together where you wouldn't be constantly some creature's snack."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack just watched the Doctor for a long moment. He tried to process his words and find a place for them to fit in his mind with what he thought the Doctor thought of him. But he found they didn't, and adjustments had to be made.

He ducked his head down to his chest and couldn't hide his private little smile. Maybe the Doctor didn't hate him completely. That felt nice to think.

"I was just trying to be dramatic," he said with a small smirk, as though that was the real answer to why he let the creature take him. "I've got a reputation to uphold after all."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Excellent job," the Doctor replied with a long-suffering sigh. "You managed to succeed quite admirably at that."

He wasn't sure what the hell Jack was smiling about, but the Doctor found himself sharing the little smile. They were both being dramatic idiots, really. The Doctor, running to rewrite the universe. Jack, running in the face of huge, unstoppable creatures.

They really, really needed a holiday.

"If you ever make me have to drag half of you away from something like that again, though, I will be really put out."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Glad to hear it," Jack nodded, "I'd hate to know I missed the mark."

He laughed a little again and shook his head. Things had got a little crazy, hadn't they? Emotion and circumstance had run away from them. Damaged things, and Jack thought irreparably, but he was beginning to hope he had been wrong.

"Why would you have to?" he asked cautiously. "I mean, I don't plan on it happening again, especially not soon, and," he shrugged, "well, we'll be parting ways as soon as we find transport, won't we."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes. There was that. The Doctor held the only key to the TARDIS, now, and any thought that he should recreate one for Jack was eliminated the moment he told him he was no longer welcome on the TARDIS. Wasn't it?

The Doctor reached down and pressed his hand against his aching wound. Being a companion was about trust. The Doctor couldn't trust Jack.

"Yeah, suppose so."

Well, he could trust him with his life and with his TARDIS, but not with a gun. Maybe if guns were just eliminated from the picture completely, things would be different.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Right," Jack ducked his head down again, but this time there was no smile. It wasn't as though he'd expected to be told all was forgiven and that he was suddenly invited back on board (and he wasn't sure he could even accept such an invitation were it offered), but despite that there was a tiny slither of his mind that hoped. But hope wasn't always logical.

He cleared his throat a little and lifted his voice. That tone he used to cover emotion. Falsely chirpy. Most people bought it.

"Well it shouldn't be too hard to find civilisation," he mused, "I can track tech on this," he tapped his wrist strap and rubbed a little blood off it. "If we follow that we can find our way to a shipyard. We'll get you transport first and then I can get some work on an oil replication refinery or something. 27th century was full of those."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor didn't even remotely buy it. He'd used that falseness far too often to think Jack was perfectly all right. He knew he certainly wasn't. But he couldn't just go back on his condemnation of Jack. He couldn't. He had to stick to what he said. He traveled alone.

"Worry about it later," he said, patting Jack's shoulder. "You need the rest."

He scooted forward on the cave floor so he could stretch back, resting his head on his hand. Maybe feigning an interest in sleeping himself would make Jack rest.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," Jack sighed. He had the strongest urge to reach up and cover the Doctor's hand with his own. But he didn't, he held back. They weren't in the place where they could do that now. In a way that hurt more than the pain in is body.

He watched the Doctor as he moved, and in his mind he was just making the most of being there with him again, until it was over. But then you never really did appreciate what you had until you lost it, or until you knew you were going to lose it.

Despite his eagerness to stay awake though, his body had other ideas, and his lids became heavy as he watched the Doctor. So with reluctance, he let his eyes drift closed, and he let himself go to a nightmare riddled sleep.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

He watched Jack fall asleep. It was an enviable thing, the Doctor believed, being able to sleep so soundly just by closing his eyes. His own body makeup made him either collapse into a trancelike puddle or stay awake for days on end. He could never just fall naturally asleep like this, not without a great deal of blood loss or some sort of sleeping agent thrown into the mix.

He'd watched Jack fall sleep several times before, not the least of which was that time on the luxury ship. Then, Jack's face lost all of its creases and he seemed almost peaceful. This time, Jack's brow tightened and he looked pained as he slept.

"Nightmares, is it?" he asked, too quietly to wake him up. "Yeah, I can understand that. Hasn't been the easiest few weeks for us, has it?"

He pulled his coat a little tighter on Jack's body and placed a hand on his chest while he slept. He wasn't one for holding or snuggling during sleep, but he could...well, he could at least let Jack's subconscious know that he wasn't alone.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

As Jack slept there were images in is mind, clouded visions of the truth. He saw himself in that nothing dimension that the Marquise took them to. But the Doctor wasn't there. He was alone, completely alone, and he ran and ran and there was nothing but emptiness. He screamed but there was no noise. He couldn't be heard. Nothing.

And then it snapped to another.

The Doctor was there this time, but he was staring at him and shouting that he hated him. Shouting at him to stay away and never return. Saying he never wanted to see him again. The words ran on a loop, and Jack felt like he was getting smaller and smaller and lost himself.

But then that broke too. The touch, though his waking mind wasn't aware of it, was enough to pull him a little out of the darkness and let the clouds part. His dreams were still unsettled, but they weren't so empty and terrifying either.

At least another hour passed before he woke. His body was all but completely rebuilt, and he woke with a sudden gasp, trying to sit up and gather himself.

"Doctor!" he said suddenly, but breathed out in relief when his mind caught up with himself and his surroundings. He could feel his body now, feel that it was all there, all but a few details, it was as though nothing had happened.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Jack."

The Doctor moved his hand from where he'd had it on the other man's chest to take his hand. To his surprise, staying still wasn't quite so hard when he knew he'd wake Jack if he moved. He should remember to take War & Peace with him the next time he watched over Jack sleep, he might be able to make it through the whole book this time.

Not that there'd be a next time.

Just a thought.

"How're you feeling?" he asked, checking Jack's pulse.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Fine," he said, quick to dismiss any idea that he'd be anything but. But he knew that wasn't quite true, and knew the Doctor likely wouldn't accept that. So he added with a sigh, "Better," slightly more truthful.

"Can feel everything again," he told him, "guess I'm in one piece again. And to think Martha was creeped out by the idea of you growing a new hand. Imagine if she saw this." He tried to make light of the situation and he sighed.

He glanced down at the Doctor's hand in his own and gripped gently. "We should get a move on, we've been stuck in one place for too long. And besides, I really want to try out these new legs for size."