for fandom_muses: Topic 47, Does History Repeat Itself?

[rude_not_ginger]

Does History Repeat Itself?

"One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine."

With those words, his aged fingers flipped shut the monitor, and he pulled the TARDIS back out into orbit. Away from his grandchild. Leaving her.

Oh, but she wasn't alone. She'd never, ever be alone. She loved a human, he saw it, he knew it. He knew love, he'd seen love, felt it. She couldn't deny it, but she would deny it to herself, if he'd've let her. She was willing to sacrifice her happiness, sacrifice a chance at life---something the Doctor never would have---to stay with him. To keep him from being alone.

But it was too late. He knew what was best for her, and he did it.


--


"I can't miss Gallifrey!" The way she said the words showed that she was never really serious about leaving him, that the personal objects in her hands---what was it with that stuffed owl?---were just a way for him to notice her, to pay attention, to realize she was hurt.

There wasn't a choice. A call was a call, and he had to go alone. Completely alone. No matter how much she would've loved Gallifrey, would've loved just being part of his home world, he couldn't give that to her. Humans weren't allowed. It was the rules, and if he tried to break this one, it would get her killed.

The way she said good-bye was almost physically painful. She didn't want to be apart. She wanted to give him her whole life, dedicate it to helping him, protecting him. Keeping him from being alone. As she walked down the street towards her home, he knew she would've, too. And a life with Sarah Jane wouldn't have been too bad, not at all.

But it was too late. He knew what was best for her, and he did it.


--


He had, honestly, never found a more difficult companion. Probably best, because he was rather difficult, himself. They argued, they bickered, they saved the universe. No matter how much they fought, though, she loved him. Wouldn't have left him, not for the universe. She stayed with him, because no one else would. She kept him from being alone.

Without her, though, the world was suddenly, just...empty. She was missing. Gone. The Timelords said she was dead---his fault. His fault. The guilt racked through him, shooting through his every vein, and it was all he could do to stay standing at the podium during his trial. Peri. What had he done?

No, no. The Matrix was meddled with, she was alive. Alive and surviving. Trapped in a strange planet, but surviving. Alive. Too close a call, in the end. He couldn't go back, couldn't risk just knowing that she could've died again. She would never understand.

But it was too late. He knew what was best for her, and he did it.


--


The whole bloody world was coming to an end. Daleks, Cybermen---he wasn't exaggerating when he told the Cyberman that the only thing he could think to do was to hop into his TARDIS and watch the whole planet burn because there was nothing else he could think to do.

But then again, there was another way. Open up the breach, suck the monsters into hell. The breach would open, everyone would just be sucked through. End of it. No more monsters. Suck him and Rose through, too. Unless one of them went to the other side of the breach. Was there, was safe before they opened it.

"I've had a life with you for nineteen years. But then I met the Doctor and... all the things I've seen him do for me. For you. For all of us. For the whole... stupid planet and every planet out there. He does it alone, mum."

She was making the wrong choice for him, because she thought it was what's right. She wanted to keep him from being alone. He had a transporter, though. She didn't know about it.

"But not anymore, cause now he's got me." The transporter chain went around her neck, and with the press of a button, she was gone. She would hate him, later. For taking her from him, for giving her a life she'd wanted.

But it was too late. He knew what was best for her, and he did it.

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 661 (not including dialogue from Dalek Invasion of Earth, Hand of Fear, Trial of a Timelord, and Doomsday.)

Comments

[fangirljen.livejournal.com]

Amazing work, as always. I love when you get into his head and have him remembering something from his past. I love the melancholic Doctor best.