roleplay for ibringlife, <lj site="livejournal.com" user="the_cor

[rude_not_ginger]

The Doctor flipped a few final switches on the TARDIS console, adding the information he'd just recieved about Aislinn into the systems, should he ever run across another muse like her again. Well, he doubted it would be exactly like her, but...the same genus at least.

He turned, picking up the teacups that were left behind. Funny, he would've thought Rose would've been back by now. The sound of a familiar key in the lock made him look up. Speak of the devil...

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[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"I'd have been back before you had time to miss me," the Doctor replied, easily. His stomach was in knots at her words, though. If something had happened to him, and he couldn't make it back, they'd have been trapped on a dead spaceship in a strange time, with a TARDIS that would power down and die when he did, no matter what timeline he was in. They would've been alone.

"I probably would've had myself program a time right after I crashed through that window, you wouldn't have had a moment to even worry about it."

[ibringlife.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, okay. No sense dealing in what-ifs. You got back, no problem." Rose forced nonchalance, but her tone had taken on some hard edges now that they were actually discussing this, out loud and with words.

"But what about that last time, with the Void open, and the two Earths connecting. You said you had to stay behind and open the Void on one side, but you also said it'd close itself. That you didn't have to do anything special to it once you'd opened it. So all you really would've had to do is wait til every last Dalek got sucked in and then, at that last second, pushed one of those yellow button transport thingies and then you'd have been with me, in person, and not orbiting a sun just to give me one last look at what I'd never have again."

She was suddenly very near to crying, and bit the inside of her lip hard to keep from actually doing so.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Rose," the Doctor took a step towards her, as if to hug her or touch her or...but he stopped himself. Some kind of self-preservation, protecting himself from getting too close.

He shook his head, "I couldn't take the TARDIS," he said, feeling his own voice break slightly at his words, "It's the only thing I've got left, literally, the only thing. I gave up so much for the universe, I wasn't going to just let it claim my ship. You think I wouldn't have---" He took a breath to calm himself before he said something he would've regretting letting go.

"If I thought that going with you to the other universe was the only way to save you, I would've," he said, "But it wasn't."

[ibringlife.livejournal.com]

Rose just nodded, not trusting herself to speak for a minute, not until she knew her voice would come out strong and unbroken and not burden him with more tears than she'd already shed.

"Yeah, I know. I get that. You can't leave the TARDIS. Anything else, anyone else, but not that."

And she did get it, which was why there wasn't any malice in those words, no bitterness, just sadness.

"So you want to know why I'm not jealous of Byron and Reinette? It's the same reason I'm not jealous of you and Reinette, or you and the TARDIS, or of the entire bloody universe for getting to keep you, you and him both, now, for long after I've gone. It's not that I'm not jealous, that's not it at all. It's just that I can't let jealousy stand in the way of--"

Love, she wanted to say, but she'd confessed that to him already and it was too early to even think about whether or not she'd fall that hard for Byron, if she'd even get a chance to.

"-- of living my life the way I want to."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Her words sank into him, and he felt something very like guilt prick at him. He wanted to be able to say that she was wrong, that there were people and things besides the TARDIS that he'd stay for but...even he knew that wasn't the case. He was a runner, he'd always run.

"There's nothing going to happen between Byron and Reinette," the Doctor replied with some small confidence, "If you want to...to live your life the way you want with Byron, you won't have jealousy with her standing in the way."

[ibringlife.livejournal.com]

"No, I've just got all those other people standing in the way. I wasn't kidding when I said he was like Jack. His concept of commitment is probably remembering to call you by the right name."

She was smiling again, teasing, really, but perfectly aware that jealousy of Reinette was hardly the first thing standing between her and Byron.

"I'm hardly going to run off with him, am I? I'm already living the life I want, here, with you. If it it happens that he and I... if we get to know each other better, that isn't going to make me change my mind about travelling with you."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I've no doubt one day you'll find someone, want to settle down and all that," he made a bit of a face at the notion of 'settling down', "When that time comes, I...I won't stop you."

No matter how much his inner mind was telling him that he would. He would protest, he would argue, he would figure out some way to make her stay.

[ibringlife.livejournal.com]

"Maybe."

She cast him a doubtful glance.

"Maybe it'll even be someone from my own world and my own time. But it'll be a ways off anyway. I'm still having way too much fun, and I don't think the universe has been saved nearly enough times yet."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

A small smile touched the edges of the Doctor's lips. He knew he wasn't the sort of man that would be settled down just around ever, but it was nice to know that she wasn't quite ready to run off and leave him just yet.

"Always plenty of times to save the universe out there. And plenty more, when things start going wrong, eh?"

[ibringlife.livejournal.com]

"You know it."

She smiled, relieved that the tension that had been there for a few minutes was gone, not wanting to turn this trip sour when he'd been kind enough to take them there.

"Speaking of which, everything all right with, you know, time?" She gestured vaguely at the TARDIS control center. "I know I said I trusted him not to wreck things, but let's face it, I don't even trust me not to wreck things and I'm used to time travel."