"I can not believe what you lot get into down there."
The Doctor has been called in to assist Torchwood by the one member of Torchwood who has not gone out of the country for spring holidays. And what's she gone off and done?
"Sex pollen," she says. "Are you serious? Seriously serious?"
"I'm afraid so. I imagine Jack must've been keeping this around as a practical joke. Or because he didn't know what it was."
"Do you really think there's anything about sex that Jack doesn't know?"
The Doctor nods. "Right. So, practical joke. Which means he must keep the cure around here…no, no, wait. Not if it's Jack."
"He'd want whoever he got with the planet to shag him to safety."
"Or something along those lines."
Gwen nods, stiffly. "So what do I do? Rhys is out of town with family, and there's nobody here. Is there some sort of artificial sex-stimulator I could take…?"
"Not for this plant," the Doctor shakes his head. "It's very deadly and very precise. You're going to have to have sex within the next…" he looked at his watch. "Twenty minutes."
"Right. So." She straightens her hair a little. "How do we do this?"
"Do…this?"
"You're going to shag with me, right? Cure this? Won't be so bad, I suppose." Gwen smiles, eyeing the Doctor up and down. "Besides, you are a bit dishy."
"What?"
"Do you want me to die?"
"Die? I was going to offer to take you to your husband!"
"Oh." Gwen nods. Right. Off to Rhys. While the very dishy Doctor that Jack talks on and on about is right there. She sniffs, then reaches over to the table and throws the plant in the Doctor's direction, covering him with pollen.
He gapes. "You did not."
Gwen's smile turns into a smirk. "I think I just did. And Jack's desk is open, if you didn't notice."
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Doctor/Gwen 301 Words
Date: 2009-03-17 02:42 am (UTC)The Doctor has been called in to assist Torchwood by the one member of Torchwood who has not gone out of the country for spring holidays. And what's she gone off and done?
"Sex pollen," she says. "Are you serious? Seriously serious?"
"I'm afraid so. I imagine Jack must've been keeping this around as a practical joke. Or because he didn't know what it was."
"Do you really think there's anything about sex that Jack doesn't know?"
The Doctor nods. "Right. So, practical joke. Which means he must keep the cure around here…no, no, wait. Not if it's Jack."
"He'd want whoever he got with the planet to shag him to safety."
"Or something along those lines."
Gwen nods, stiffly. "So what do I do? Rhys is out of town with family, and there's nobody here. Is there some sort of artificial sex-stimulator I could take…?"
"Not for this plant," the Doctor shakes his head. "It's very deadly and very precise. You're going to have to have sex within the next…" he looked at his watch. "Twenty minutes."
"Right. So." She straightens her hair a little. "How do we do this?"
"Do…this?"
"You're going to shag with me, right? Cure this? Won't be so bad, I suppose." Gwen smiles, eyeing the Doctor up and down. "Besides, you are a bit dishy."
"What?"
"Do you want me to die?"
"Die? I was going to offer to take you to your husband!"
"Oh." Gwen nods. Right. Off to Rhys. While the very dishy Doctor that Jack talks on and on about is right there. She sniffs, then reaches over to the table and throws the plant in the Doctor's direction, covering him with pollen.
He gapes. "You did not."
Gwen's smile turns into a smirk. "I think I just did. And Jack's desk is open, if you didn't notice."