for psych_30: Denial

He's grieving, of course.

It's all just a matter of time.

Sometimes you just lose people you love.

That's just life.

You live long enough, you start to outlive.

The Doctor understands it, even if the man he's trying to console doesn't.

"He said he would survive."

"They can't always give you what they promise."

How long do you want to stay with me?

Forever.

He waits.

He wants to be empathetic.

He can't.

He doesn't know how.

He thinks that trying to relate will only create strange sympathy.

He watches the grieving man drain another glass of whiskey and wishes it were that easy to make grief disappear.

He wants to be comforting.

He can't.

He doesn't know how.

He thinks lying will only create false hope.

"You can't see the future."

"Sometimes I can."

"He said he would survive."

I made up my mind a long time ago and I'm never gonna leave you.

"You can fix it, Doctor?"

"I'm not a God."

"But you can fix it."

There's nothing to fix.

He can't say that, of course.

The timeline is intact and he is part of it.

There are clippings that line the walls of the Doctor's office.

News reports, damage assessments, editorials, obituaries.

November 9, 2006.

Tragic, that.

The explosion was shocking.

Created daylight in the middle of the night.

The Doctor---the daredevil, the madman---considers himself practically invincible after all these years, and he doesn't think he would survive that.

You can't rewrite history! Not one line!

"I thought you were my friend."

"I am your friend."

"Then fix it. Please."

The grief comes off the other man in waves.

The Doctor doesn't have to be an empathetic being to feel it.

To share it.

He wants to tell him he understands.

He can't.

He doesn't know how.

"He wouldn't want you to live like this."

"He said he would survive."

"People live and people die; it's painful but it happens every day."

"He said he would survive."

"If you hold on to the past, it will drag you down."

"He said he would survive."

"You have to take his memory and help it keep you fighting."

"He said he would survive."

"You're giving up on yourself!"

"He said he would survive."

It's too late now.

Where there once was a strong man, now there's only a brick wall of denial and pain.

It's easier to build than to deal with the grief.

The Doctor understands this, too.

This friend of yours, what was her name?

Her name was Rose.

"No one is immortal, Nathan."

"He said he would survive."

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 392, not including quotes from Army of Ghosts, Doomsday, The Aztecs, and The Runaway Bride
Based on RP with vote4nathan

for fandom_muses: What was your first day of school like?

The Academy.

It starts when they are eight years old. Most children come willingly to the Academy, the coldness of their parents making the separation easier. His father tells him that it would've been kinder for him to have not had such a human mother, the loving atmosphere made him weak.

He cries when they take him away. He sits in the cold transport alone, toying with his fingernails, sniffling like a child far younger than he is, and staring out the window at where his life will now be lived.

The Academy sits within the glass dome of the Citadel on the continent of Wild Endeavor. Snow sparkles from the burnt orange sky, trailing down the sides of the glass dome. The school itself arches upwards, mimicking the spiral of the time vortex with tall towers and the occasional bolt of electricity shooting across them from students' experiments. The entire building sits twenty-eight miles across, only a fraction of the size of the entire dome.

The transport slides past the glass dome, heading towards the external processing center. No creature is allowed within the Citadel without proper paperwork and passes and all that. Ridiculously tedious, but it gives the boy a chance to wipe off his tears and make himself look a good bit more respectable. (  It's the first day at the Academy, after all. )

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 1,349