for quitehomoerotic: Welcome to the Boeshane Peninsula

[rude_not_ginger]

Follows this.

When the Doctor woke, he was prepared to feel stiff and uncomfortable. Usually, when reaching that point of exhaustion, he usually found himself on the floor or on the console, in some sort of an awkward position that left him sore for the next day. This morning, however, he was out of his clothes and stretched out on his bed, under the covers with a heating blanket.

A breathing heating blanket.

He raised an eyebrow and looked to where Jack had an arm around him as he slept. The previous day came rushing back. Pearl Harbor, the goodbyes, the return of Gallifrey, being captured by the Shadow Proclamation, and finally nearly killing Jack. They came so very close. Too close.

Without really thinking about it, the Doctor found himself wrapping an arm around Jack's shoulder. Jack, who was ready and willing to die the previous day. And the Doctor was willing to give him that. He had been willing to give him that. Not anmymore.

Where could they go, now?

Onwards, of course. It was the only way they could go.

The TARDIS wasn't moving anymore, and the Doctor slowly extracted himself from Jack's embrace. He grabbed his trousers and shirt and threw them on quickly, heading towards the console, hopefully before Jack woke.

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[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack rubbed a hand over his face and let out another long breath.

"Yeah well whatever it was we can find out tomorrow. Something artificially trying to pass off as regeneration? Whatever it was it must have had a reason. We'll work it out. I mean, that's what we do right?"

It all seemed one long cycle, work and work and all they did. Maybe they didn't deserve a break, but no, no that wasn't right, they did. However much self depreciation Jack had he knew they deserved a break.

He tried to inject humour, to be himself, for want of a better phrase. "Pent up energy? Well you know how you can release that, don't you?"

But he shook his head and let out an empty laugh. "You'd think somewhere it'd stop. Just for a bit. Here of all places."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"It's not the universe this time, Jack, it's just me."

He sighed, reached into a cabinet, and pulled out a jar of what looked like dried herbs. Could be a tea? No? Maybe? He really needed to stock some in his pockets at some point in the future. Preferably in waterproof containers.

"I'm bad news, Jack," he said. "Regenerated wrong, been downhill ever since. And there was a moment in that cave where I was absolutely certain I was ready to start over. Completely convinced. Wanted nothing but."

He sniffed and put the jar down before rustling through a few others. "And maybe that creature was trying to give it to me."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack looked up and over at the Doctor. He watched him as he moved through containers of things he obviously didn't recognise. He waited, he listened.

"You're starting to sound like me," he said with a sad sigh. That was always him, wasn't it, saying how dangerous he was to everyone else?

He watched a moment more and stood, walking quietly over to the Doctor, he reached out for the containers and spoke softly, "Here, let me," he knew them of course, which was which and what was what.

"Sometimes it seems like the best option," he said, looking down at the containers, "end of a chapter and all that."

He pushed one of the containers in the Doctor's direction.

"And what do you want now?" he asked him.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Anything that could be even remotely related to milk," the Doctor said.

Beyond that, though? What did he want? The word atonement stuck in the back of his mind as something he needed to do. He needed to fix the things he'd done wrong, make things better. Make Jack better. Be the doctor he was pretending to be.

"And I think I've sounded like myself a good long while before you sounded like you," he added with a small smile."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack almost smiled, almost. It twinged the corner of his lips and he turned his head towards the Doctor's for a moment.

"Yeah," he said gently, and he stepped around the Doctor to get to the cool-cupboard on the other side, placing his hand on the small of the Doctor's back as he moved around him. Such a discreet gesture, and not mentioned or drawn attention to, but intimate in it's private way.

He pulled a ceramic jug out and placed it out on the side and nodded, "From a cow, even."

On that, he shifted back to where he'd stood before and gently drew his hand away.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, "Well I think I've been me a lot longer than you've been you. Or that you, at least." And a smile of his own. "Since we're making this a competition. What is it, who can hate themselves the most?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Brilliant. The Doctor picked up the jug and gave the liquid a cautious sniff, mostly for show. If Jack said it would be good, he sincerely doubted it wouldn't.

"Well, we started out on this story a bit worse for wear," he said. "You in that bar, me fresh from leaving Christina behind. I think we were fairly destined to this sort of a----" he cringed a little at the word, "---relationship."

Because that was what it was. A with with, as he'd promised Jack the night before. No more games, he'd promised, but he couldn't even keep that.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Oh now," Jack said with a half laugh, "the world must be ending if you're using words like that."

He reached up to one of the cupboards and pulled a jar from it, full of big rusk looking biscuits. He busied himself with it, mainly to give himself something to focus his gaze on so as to have an excuse not to be looking at the Doctor.

"Me in that bar," Jack echoed back. "But that's the thing, Doctor. Back then, I never though I could feel again. Not anything. Not happy, not sad. You changed that. And sure, you get the bad with the good. But that's life."

For a moment, he spared him a look. "You know I never set out to end up like this," he let out a small laugh then, ironic, "I never expected any of it. Not even that I'd ever get to kiss you, Doctor. It's not like we planned this."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I knew you were planning this," the Doctor teased. "The dangers, the huge gaps in our timelines. From the moment you thought I was Spock. And nothing you can say can convince me otherwise."

Teasing was right for them. It wasn't enough to repair what was broken, but it was enough to make him feel a little more relaxed.

"So where do we go now?" the Doctor's voice was serious, now. Almost wary, like he wasn't certain what he wanted Jack to say. He wasn't. He had absolutely no idea what he wanted anymore. Except...Jack. Safe. Far too simplistic to be put into words.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Oh you've got me," Jack said with a laugh, lifting his hands as though he'd been caught red handed. "That was it all along. Honestly, Doctor, I thought you'd have realised it earlier, this was all just an elaborate rouse to get you into bed and have a bit of adventure along the way."

He laughed then, an honest laugh, if hiding a little sadness beneath it, and he glanced down as the laughter faded. He looked to the side then, looked at the Doctor and watched him as if he might see in him what he wanted to hear. But no, it wasn't about what people wanted to hear, was it? It was about being honest.

"I've never been one for relationships," he said, but then he shook his head and corrected himself, "actually no, that's a lie, I have I just don't think I've ever been very good at them. But I guess I still know when I want something."

He took a deep breath then, as though he was scared to go on, but he steeled himself, and did just that, looking at him while he spoke. "I love you, Doctor, you know that. I've always loved you. I guess ever since you swapped my blaster for a banana and let me on the TARDIS. You put a lot of trust in me then, you opened my eyes. You've always meant a lot, you know that."

Another deep breath, because was he even articulating what he meant? "I love you. I love you but I am in love with you. This you. Can't honestly say I ever expected that. But I think it was somewhere between being fallen asleep on me in a hammock and a luxury space cruiser. I'm not good at it, I know that. But that doesn't stop me wanting. I guess that's where I'm human. Can't let go of that romantic little hope I guess. And I know you're not like that, but then I know a little bit of you? Well that is. But you know what else I know? You, Doctor, you're my best friend, and more than that, you're you, and if all I had was knowing you? The fact I'd been able to see a few stars with you? Then that's... brilliant. And so we go where we go. I don't want anything from you that isn't what you want to give. And wherever that takes us? I think I'm good with that, as long as it makes us happy. Because for once, you know? I think we deserve that."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"I won't be like this forever, Jack," the Doctor admitted, and there was no small amount of worry in his voice. "I'm a lot of things, but I'm not fixed."

If he was honest, he'd admit that he loved it. He loved that Jack loved him. He loved knowing that he was loved exactly for who he was and what he'd become. It was a little shocking, yes, because even the Doctor wasn't entirely certain why anyone would even look at him twice considering the things he'd done. But Jack did.

He reached out and took Jack's hand. He didn't initiate physical touches. Not frequently. It wasn't part of who he was, who he'd become.

"But I won't change. Not really. Not what's in my heart." He raised Jack's hand to cover his left heart, beating securely beneath his cold shirt.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Course you're not," Jack said almost flippantly. "Only one guy gets that and that's me. Unique as they come, Doctor, in every way."

If Jack were truly honest, he supposed that in a way he did like the fact he was one of a kind. It certainly appealed to some sort of vanity. And no, the Doctor wasn't forever, and this Doctor wasn't forever, but he was closer, and still, a happy day could mean as much as anything.

He was surprised by the touch, about the last thing he'd expected then, but it was nice, and he curled his fingers in a little against his chest.

"I know you're not forever," he said quietly, "but that doesn't mean you're not worth it for now. And whoever you become? Well I bet you'll be great then to. But now? You're you, and I don't think you should waste that."

He kept his hand gently over the Doctor's chest, and he lifted his gaze to his eyes.

"And how do you want to go on? Here, in your heart?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"I don't know," the Doctor admitted. "See, unlike other people in the room who make long-winded plans after meeting a bloke for five minutes, I don't think that far ahead when it comes to this sort of thing." He smirked, and it felt good. This all felt good, actually. The way Jack's hand was on his, the way he looked up into the Doctor's eyes. It was grounding, but it wasn't suffocating. The Doctor had waited a long time for a person who could do that.

"Besides, if we knew everything that would happen, it'd be a bit dull, wouldn't it?" he asked. "That's one of the best things about you, Jack. Unpredictable."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Good," Jack said, and to his surprise he found he meant it. He was glad the Doctor didn't quite know what he wanted, because that was honest. It was real, and it was natural.

Seeing the Doctor smile again warmed him, it warmed him and he smiled right back, it was infectious.

"Oh now that's something I think we can always be sure of. You and me? We could never be dull."

He smirked a little then, continuing to look at him, and he moved forward slightly, shifting his position to be more squarely in front of him.

"Unpredictable?" he asked with a quirk of a smile. "I've been called worse. Though I wouldn't mind out finding what those other 'best things about me' are. In your opinion, of course." And with that there was the briefest smirk, slight teasing.

And then, because he was unpredictable, or because sometimes he was anything but, he leaned forward and tilted his head upwards just a little, and he pressed his lips to the Doctor's in a soft kiss.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

There was a retort in there, the Doctor knew it and held onto it, because this soft kiss was really worth not spoiling. He wrapped his free arm around Jack's waist, pulling him closer.

With with. It made the kiss feel that much more important, that much more serious. He couldn't rightly ruin an ordinary kiss, could he? But a with with kiss? Very easily. In fact, he could've printed something along the lines of "with with relationship destroyer" on it and it would've been accurate enough to pass the inspections of the Gratxian Entrepreneurial Laws.

So with this, he was careful, slow. Breaking the kiss only when he was absolutely certain it was the right moment to.

"Well, you've got reasonable taste in shoes."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

And as they kissed, Jack kept his hand firmly over the Doctor's heart, his fingers twisted a little on the dampened fabric beneath them, and he moved himself closer to the Doctor, flusher against him, his hand lifting to touch the side of his cheek, a delicate touch.

When it ended, it felt natural, and Jack found himself smiling. Smiling and then laughing.

"Okay, not quite what I was going for but we'll work on it," he said, still laughing, and he leaned in to kiss him again, shorter this time.

When he pulled back he glanced his head to the side at the room and back to the Doctor.

"Huh," he said, thoughtful, as though a realisation had hit him. And it had. "I lost my virginity in this room," he said.

He looked back to the Doctor, evidently amused by his revelation, but it wasn't his focus, that was him. He stroked a hand up to brush aside a few wayward strands of his hair.

"We don't need labels," he said, speaking something that while not prompted, was in his mind, "you're just you and I'm just me. And maybe we can do this too."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Really?" the Doctor said, astounded. "Where it all began, then? With that girl you mentioned?"

In some small inn on Boeshane, a planet the Doctor hadn't even heard of until Jack Harkness, lives changed, moved on, and grew up. Happening then, not happening at all, hasn't even started yet, long past done. That was the Doctor's life, and now it was Jack's too.

He smirked. "Could never take you to the room I lost mine in. Mind you, even if it still was around, and even if they did allow non-Gallifreyans into that sector of the planet, I don't think security would've preferred it."

The Doctor leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to Jack's mouth. "Yeah, I think we can."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Where it all began," Jack echoed back in agreement, amused at the turn of phrase. I was 16 and pretty confused. And no, it wasn't her. It was her brother. He was 23 and not at all confused. He knew exactly what he wanted." He let out a laugh at the memory and glanced over to the bed at the other side of the room. "You know I think it's the same bed," he laughed.

Funny really, here he was talking about something that had happened and would happen and hadn't yet. Really, it was dizzying. But he loved that.

"Shame," Jack said with mock seriousness. "Well,you could recreate it for me if you wanted," teasing, he laughed again, warmly.

And then, even as the Doctor kissed him, he found himself smiling. "Now on second thoughts," he said, "I'm all for nostalgia, but how about we create some new memories?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Oooh," the Doctor nodded, impressed. "Well, at least you started out with someone experienced. Not so much for me. Course, with Time Lord society, no one's experienced. No matter the age."

He liked that smile, though. It was good. It was promising, and they needed some promising in the wasteland of misery they'd been wading through these last few weeks.

He wondered if he should pull Jack towards the bedroom. Would now be the right time to try to mvoe on with sexual relations? Was that too soon? Why weren't things black and white, like maths? The Doctor liked maths. They never stopped making sense.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack watched the Doctor and smiled. He looked at him and wondered what was going through his head. It made him laugh to think of it, he imagined it was much more than it needed to be. Probably detailing technicalities, worrying about things that need not be worried about. Detail and questions and all sorts of things.

But maybe there Jack could help.

He made a conscious move, and it pulled himself back from the Doctor, moved so he was no longer touching him, but even then barely an inch away.

"What do you think?" he asked in a voice that had dropped to a whisper. "That part of your mind, Doctor, beneath the questions and the distractions. Down to the urges. Those human sort of urges. I know you have them. What do you think?"

He tilted his head back then, glanced him up and down once. He'd again shifted his position, leaning his upper body forward a little to somehow dominate the space in which they stood.

"What about when you notice? Because sometimes you notice. Sometimes I bet you catch yourself, don't you? That amazing mind of yours drifting, wondering. Wondering how it might feel, how it might taste, how it might sound, what you could create."

And of course Jack knew, the art of seduction (if that was what it was) was always best when appealed to something of interest. And so he did. "It's all science, Doctor, all an equation of movements and looks to produce the result. All an experiment. A touch here, fingers there, lips there, see what it does. What does this do? What will that do? And you wonder, don't you? You wonder sometimes. And you should let yourself. You should experiment."

He took a step back, straightened his head a little, and waited.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Wow. Now, the Doctor had been seduced by a number of people in his time. Cleopatra, Madame du Pompadour, Casanova, but really? None of them had manage to bring science into the seduction. If the Doctor could really think beyond what Jack had said, he might go so far as to compliment him for his absolutely spectacular speech there, but he couldn't think beyond where he was at that moment.

"Experiment, eh?" he asked, after clearing his throat. If there was one thing Jack Harkness knew how to do, it was how to get under the Doctor's skin. "What sort of experiments, exactly? Because that's what this is, isn't it? Because, really, if we're going to be technical on experiments, we should really admit that you want to either be the variable or the control in this one."

As he spoke, he took a step towards Jack. He couldn't help it.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack continued to watch. His eyes were slightly lidded, slightly veiled, and he scanned them up and down the Doctor's form before bringing them again to rest his gaze on his eyes. His eyes, yes, for a moment, but then it fell a little, his lips instead, and he licked his own as though it were an absent gesture.

But it wasn't.

"Good question," he said, eyes again shifting, falling on the skin at the curve of the Doctor's neck, his gaze obvious, and obviously for him to see.

He left a pause while he looked, as though he were utterly distracted by it, utterly enthralled. And then to his eyes again.

"You tell me," he said, "you're the genius here. And really, why limit yourself to just the one?"

He reached his hand forward then, took the Doctor's tie between his index and middle finger and stroked them down the length of it. "And which would you like to be, Doctor?" he asked, and his voice dropped slightly again.

"The variable?" a lower whisper, and he leaned almost imperceptibly closer, feet and body not moving. "Or the control."

His fingers reached the base of the Doctor's tie and he left them there just a moment before withdrawing his hand and moving his head to whisper in the Doctor's ear. "Personally I've always thought you pretty good at that."

He hadn't, of course, truly answered anything the Doctor had asked, but the intention was for that not to be noticed. He left the ball in the Doctor's court, to allow him to follow his urges and not question them.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

This was exactly how the Doctor wanted to be seduced, really. The teasing, the forcefulness, the lack of questioning. If the question about what he wanted came up, he tended to freeze, to think too much. This was right, this was what he needed.

But was Jack being Jack, or was he trying to be what the Doctor needed? Or was that before? It was...really very impossible to tell with Jack. His unpredictability was one of his most appealing features, but it was also one of the most confusing.

"Oooh, I'm a variable," he said. "After all, a control stays still. And we both know I don't know how to do that."

It would be only too easy to reach down to Jack's wrist and slip a finger beneath his vortex manipulator. But, well, if Jack was going to put forth a little extra effort, the Doctor wasn't about to resort to easy tactics. He mimicked Jack's movements with one of his braces, sliding the wet material between two fingers.

"Though, really, we're not in ideal conditions for any experiments, Jack."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

And it was so strange, Jack thought. Here he'd been trying to be what he thought the Doctor would want, removing elements of him self that he in his mind had deemed would be 'too much'. But then this was him, this was who he was, an element, not the entirety, but just as important a factor as any other, and here, like this? He could have utter confidence. Because he knew what he was doing.

And maybe that's what he should have done all along.

His hand drifted again to the bottom of the Doctor's tie, absently (but precisely) curling the fabric around his finger, he shifted his hold again then, moving so he gently held a finger hooked around the knot at the top.

And then he tugged firmly, loosening it.

"Then I guess that makes me the control, doesn't it?" he said, his voice still low and husky.

His eyes then went to the Doctor's neck, the tiniest extra space of skin displayed now without his tie holding his shirt tight. His eyes danced over the skin, touching it with just a look, and then his gaze drifted again, looking at the Doctor's hand as it touched against his braces.

"Oh I beg to differ," he said, "I think an experiment in these conditions could provide some quite interesting results."

And again, he tugged loose the Doctor's tie.

"So we have our variable, and we have our control. Tell me what else we need." And not a question, not a query, but an instruction.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"It does, as a matter of fact," the Doctor replied. He found his voice had lowered, just the slightest bit, and he was finding his mind surprisingly non-distracted. Jack was focusing him on the situation, focusing him on every word and every movement. He followed his eyes where Jack looked and felt his skin flush as though he'd been touched.

Jack was very, very good at this.

"Reaction," the Doctor said. It came out as a squeaky breath, and he quickly and quietly cleared his throat. "Reaction," he said, more firmly. "T-That's the whole point of a proper experiment, though."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Then I'll have to remember that," he said, tugging the Doctor's tie again, once, then twice until it was free and he could slowly pull the rest of it free from around his neck. He held it out and let it drop to the floor. He wasn't interested in it.

"Reaction," Jack repeated the word as though he was trying to see how it tasted on his tongue. He smirked slowly and dropped his voice to an even lower whisper.

"I don't think that'll be a problem," he said, leaning slightly towards the Doctor's ear to speak the words.

"And so we have what we need," he said as he withdrew, a step back to put a conscious almost tangible space between them, "and we know the result we're looking for. So tell me, Doctor, in your opinion, how would be best to proceed?"

And Jack was still looking, still searching. And again he wet his bottom lip.