for fandom_muses: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, Will You?

[rude_not_ginger]

[the sounds of pandemonium. Everyone is talking at once, echoing off of the dull hum of the TARDIS console room]

DOCTOR: Right, everyone, calm down, please.

[more noise, they're all clearly upset]

DOCTOR: I mean it, guys---

[they're not listening]

DOCTOR: [whistles loudly]

[immediate silence]

DOCTOR: That's better. Now, I'm sorry to have to do this to you all, but I had to bring you out of your timelines for a very important reason.

DONNA: It had better be important, John-whatever-your-name-is. I was gettin' my nails done!

LUCIE: Yeah! I've still got curlers in my hair when you blipped me up here with that—that blippy thing!

DOCTOR: Blippy thing?

FITZ: Seriously. You both were at the flippin' barber's?

DONNA: [simultaneous] He's not a barber!

LUCIE: [simultaneous] It's a stylist!

ANTIMONY: But both of the names mean the same thing.

LUKE: Yeah! They're synonyms in a thesaurus.

ANTIMONY: I think they are acting very silly.

LUKE: Clyde says this is how girls are.

ANTIMONY: Aaaah.

LUCIE: Oi! I'll show you how girls are!

SARAH-JANE: Excuse me! That's my son you're talking to!

ROSE: Right, can we focus? [calmer] Doctor, why did you bring us here?

DOCTOR: [sigh] Finally.

ROSE: Because, really if I have to stand around with all of your ex-girlfriends---

CHARLEY: [simultaneous] I beg your pardon!

MICKEY: [simultaneous] We aren't all girls, you know!

ACE: [simultaneous] I'm not his flippin' girlfriend!

ERIMEM: [simultaneous] This is all terribly ridiculous.

JACK: You know, I'm actually all right with being a girlfriend.

MICKEY: You would be.

BENNY: [whistles even louder than the Doctor, everyone goes dead quiet]

DOCTOR: Thank you. Now, we've got a very serious situation at hand.

ERIMEM: Historical issues?

DOCTOR: No---

ACE: Bleedin' Time Lords again?

DOCTOR: No---

LUCIE: Oh, god, is it the Daleks?

DOCTOR: No---

HEADHUNTER: What is it, then? End of the world?

DOCTOR: What are you doing here?

HEADHUNTER: I show up unexpectedly.

DOCTOR: Oh, I should've expected that.

C'RIZZ: Doctor, if it is not something as dangerous as those, why are we here?

DOCTOR: [pauses for effect] A new series.

[and pandemonium again]

BENNY: [another whistle, everyone's silent]

DOCTOR: Now, I know what you're thinking! But this is a very important series, it follows my future incarnation. And, for the sake of canonical confusion, one of my audio companions needs a trip with his new companion, Amy.

AMY: Me?

DOCTOR: No, no, Amy Pond. You're still on Gallifrey, what are you doing here?

AMY: Sorry, I thought it was all audio companions!

BEV: That's all right, love, I’m pretty sure he didn't invite me, either.

MAJENTA: I think you're all being terribly rude. After all, I wasn't even considered for this because I haven't got a voice!

EVELYN: Are you sure it isn't because you're such an unusual shade of green?

MAJENTA: Unusual? I'm not nearly as unusual as the orange of your---what is that?

EVELYN: It's a cardigan, I'll have you know---

CHARLEY: Can't you all just stop arguing and listen to the Doctor?

THE TARDIS: [grumbles irritably]

MARTHA: What's wrong with the TARDIS, Doctor?

CHARLEY: She doesn't like me, much.

DOCTOR: Hardly your fault, Charley, but can we focus, here?

ANTIMONY: I am focusing!

FITZ: Focus any harder and your eyes'll bulge.

ANTIMONY: Is there something wrong with my ocular nerves?

LUKE: They look a-okay to me!

ANTIMONY: A. O. K? Ariel Orbital Killing?

LUKE: [terribly excited to explain this] No, no! It's an expression, it means they look all right! A-okay!

ANTIMONY: I love expressions!

ROSE: Can we all just listen to the Doctor? We need to hear what he has to say!

ACE: Yeah! Go on, Doctor! We're listening.

HEX: [grumbles] I hate it when she does that. Focuses only on him.

MICKEY: Tell me about it, mate. Rose doesn't focus on much else, anymore.

HEX: Well, they ain't going to pick me, especially if a pretty bird's going to be the companion. Fancy a few rounds at the pub?

MICKEY: Yeah, that sounds brill.

[sounds of the TARDIS door opening]

DOCTOR: No, you can't---oh, they're already gone.

LUCIE: Does that mean I can leave, too?

DONNA: I'm right with blondie, here, mate. I've got a lot of things goin' on today.

DOCTOR: No one should leave, this is much too important.

PERI: Yeah, but what can we do, Doctor?

JACK: Ooooh, hello. I don't think I've met you before.

DOCTOR: Jack---

PERI: [giggles] That's all right, Doctor, I don't mind.

ERIMEM: You should, Peri. Men like him aren't to be trusted.

JACK: Oh, don't worry, there's plenty of Jack for you, too—

DOCTOR: Jack, don’t touch her there---

[crack]

JACK: [cries out in pain]

DOCTOR: Oh, well, at least it'll go back to normal, soon.

LUKE: I don't really think this is going anywhere.

ANTIMONY: I think you're right.

LUKE: Want to go down to the skateboard park?

ANTIMONY: But---there might be allosaurus.

LUKE: I don't know about allosaurus, but there are lots of ally-oops.

SARAH-JANE: All right, boys, I'll drive you. By the time we get back, he might've gotten control of all of this.

[sound of the door opening]

DOCTOR: No, Sarah, don't encourage them!

[voices talking around him get louder]

BENNY: [whistles again]

IZZY: What? Is that all you have to say?

FITZ: She can't say anything else, she's on contract with a different label.

IZZY: Really?

FITZ: Don't ask me to explain it.

KLEIN: If we could all just calm down and let him pick someone for this series? I really think that would be best for all parties.

DOCTOR: Klein! I left you back in Colditz! What are you doing here?

KLEIN: I am your companion, now.

DOCTOR: Don't be stupid, I don't have any reason to pick you up. Get out of here. Take that Headhunter with you!

HEADHUNTER: OOooh, bit grumpy, isn't he?

KLEIN: I noticed. I must say, though, I like your boots.

HEADHUNTER: Oh, with the sharp buckles?

KLEIN: Very devious.

HEADHUNTER: I thought so. I like the look of your sidearm.

[voices trail off, door shuts again]

LUCIE: You're not going to pick anyone any time soon, are you?

ROSE: Really keen to leave, aren't you?

LUCIE: Can't help it, I fancy my own Doctor.

ROSE: You mean…

LUCIE: Eww, not like that. He's all old. I mean that's not really my Doctor. I want to go back to m'own.

ROSE: [sigh] Oh, all right. Go borrow one of my dresses and sneak out. I don't think he'll worry if he thinks you're me leaving. He's only really focused on you lot.

LUCIE: Really, you mean it? I can go? [glee!] Brilliant!

ROSE: Yeah, but hurry up, before he sees. I've got that floral one, in blue.

MARTHA: Do you think that's really a good idea?

ROSE: Better than having her complain.

DONNA: Too right.

ROSE: You're one to talk. You two are practically identical.

DONNA: What's that supposed to mean?

ROSE: I don't mean in a bad way!

DONNA: Oi, why don't you just go stand next to love-sick over there where you belong!

CHARLEY: I’m not love-sick!

DOCTOR: This is a nightmare.

C'RIZZ: One you have, unfortunately, brought upon yourself.

[sounds of the door opening]

FROBISHER: Sorry I'm late. I brought dinner! Who wants some?

LUCIE: [walking, footsteps stop] Is that a penguin carrying a pizza?

DONNA: Yeah, I think it is.

LUCIE: Right, now I know I've seen everything.

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 1,237
Based on some rumors that an audio companion will travel with Eleven! Yay audios!

Comments

[roselikeschips.livejournal.com]

okay. I giggled.

DOCTOR: [sigh] Finally.

ROSE: Because, really if I have to stand around with all of your ex-girlfriends---

YOU, my dear, are awesome.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

*giggles!!!* =D Glad you liked!

[born-running.livejournal.com]

UNEXPECTED FROBISHER IS ALWAYS EXPECTED!

Seriously, ahahahahaha. Brill.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Seriously!

I want Frobisher for companion. It's penguinism, I tell you! =(

[notadictator.livejournal.com]

So the Headhunter's the new Spanish Inquisition then?

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

It's true! All of the first series is like that! I just finished up "Grand Theft Cosmos" and it's like *YAY WE ARE ON A TRAIN OH NO!* and it's her!

[damn-time-ring.livejournal.com]

Unexpected Head Hunter is unexpected and very damn welcome! God I love her ♥

And I love the reason why Benny can only whistle. Died laughing at that ^^;

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

I really don't want to love her, but I just can't help it! She's so much evil fun!

I'm so glad you approve! Also, presently listening to "The Vengence of Morbius". STRAXUS! *CLINGS*

[notadictator.livejournal.com]

Everybody loves the Headhunter. ... which sounds like the title of some very strange sitcom.

/threadjack >>;;

[quean-of-swords.livejournal.com]

Hehe! No one expects the Headhunter!

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Unexpected, but totally awesome! That's our Headhunter!

[settiai]

Hee! This is awesome.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! It was great fun to write!

[itsthecoat.livejournal.com]

Do I even have to tell you how much I approve of this? ♥

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

I am so glad that you do! *squishes*

[galeforcehero.livejournal.com]

Omg. I love you the best.

LUCIE <3 Also I cannot explain how much I love Hex and Mickey going for a pint.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

NO ILU BEST

I heart Lucie so much it's starting to worry Mike.

[fly-to-dawn.livejournal.com]

*FLAIL* I love this quite a bit.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!

[aralias.livejournal.com]

this is GREAT. i would be happy with absolutely any of these companions travelling with eleven, and even HAPPIER if all of them did. mickey and hex going for beers is the bestest bit of all, though benny not being able to speak because of contractual difficulties and frobisher arriving with a pizza are close runners up. also c'rizz's deadpan is awesome. I WANT ALL THE COMPANIONS.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

I DO TOO! WE SHOULD PETITION FOR THEM ALL!

=DDDDD

Thanks!

[tambores.livejournal.com]

Amazing work as usual. :)

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Thank you, kindly!

[tempusdominus10.livejournal.com]

NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH funny.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[maypanic.livejournal.com]

Hee! Too fun. Any of them crossing over to tv would be awesome,but of course I may be a wee bit prejudiced as to who I'd most like to see. *points at icon*

Hex and Mickey blowing them off to wander down the pub together makes me happy beyond reason.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Man, I wish it could be Fitz, too! But I'm really glad you think Hex and Mickey could be great drinking buddies. That's totally how I see it!

[brigadiertardis.livejournal.com]

Not gonna lie. I saw Antimony and SQUEED LIKE A LITTLE GIRL



I love Lucie and all but shit, if Antimony was the audio companion they chose? I would diiiiiiiiiiiiiie of happy.

The TARDIS grumbling when Charley spoke was PRICELESS, though

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

OMFG I AM NOT THE ONLY ANTIMONY LOVER? Dude, he is SO my favorite! I was listening and I was like "Who is this kid? WHY IS HE SO AMAZING???"

And I had a feeling you'd get a kick out of that!

[wishfulaces.livejournal.com]

The best bit? Everyone buggering off. Starting with Hex & Mickey. YES.