for quitehomoerotic: Welcome to the Sahara Desert

[rude_not_ginger]

follows this.

The Doctor woke only a few short hours later and found himself positively disappointed at his lack of dreams. He'd spent years asleep without dreams, and now, when he really wanted them, he still had nothing. No memories, no twisting nightmares, not even a good brain-dump of nonsensical mental garbage. Just nothing. He was asleep next to Jack on the bed, and then he was awake.

He sighed. His memory was still swiss-cheesed with missing parts of the last two hundred years, but there seemed to be more gaps filled in. And that was something, wasn't it? It meant maybe a few more nights of dreamless sleep and he'd be back to himself completely.

He just hoped there weren't more memories like Mars to discover.

He looked over to Jack, asleep next to him. This was what Jack loved the most, he said. Not sleeping alone. Not being alone. In that instant, the Doctor understood it.

Comments

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

She all but growled at the screen. The Doctor imagined she had a rather short temper, though he couldn't for the life of him remember if she did. He didn't even remember knowing her.

"You determined my every move for two years," she snapped. "To the point where I was asking myself what Jack would've done, because that was always better than whatever Bea would've done."

The Doctor opened his mouth to ask who would've compared her to Jack like that, then he realized it must've been him. He did that to Martha, he remembered. Compared her constantly to Rose, considered her by her not-Roseness rather than her Marthaness. And by the time he realized he didn't want her to be Rose, she was gone. Was it the same way with Bea?

"Listen, Bea, it's been lovely catching up, but you should really call me when I've got my whole memory back, eh?" he said.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack absorbed those words and tried not to allow himself to overthink them too much. He easily could spend too much time thinking of the fact the Doctor thought of him like that. It was important, though. Important to him. Too much was important to him.

He pushed a little more at the door, trying to ease on the hinge and get around the lock that way.

"Don't think he's going to keep you around," Bea said, and Jack realised she was talking to him. "He never does. He gets what he wants and then ditches you. You'd know all about that, wouldn't you, Jack. Sure you sit there while he listens and he takes whatever you'll give him."

He tried not to listen. He tried to ignore her as he worked on the door.

"Is that what it was, Doctor? Did you take enough and realise there was nothing left? Or was I just your drawn out version of a one night stand."

And on that, Jack stopped. He stopped and looked up, over at the Doctor, frowning a little, wondering if she just said what he thought she said.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

There were many things the Doctor wanted to say in that moment. The first being that no, no, he didn't engage in one-night-stands, it simply wasn't who he was. Sex wasn't an important thing. Sex wasn't something he thought about regularly, unlike most humans. So it was really, highly unlikely that she would be anything of the sort. Yes, she was pretty and blonde and obviously clever and when it came to women that was his type to a T, but that didn't mean he would. Certainly not while he was worried about or thinking about Jack.

He also wanted to say that confronting him about that sort of thing in front of Jack was terribly inappropriate. This was better said in the privacy of a room with just the two of them, so the Doctor could hash out exactly what happened and how they could've possibly ended up in a sexual situation.

He also wanted to inquire if that was exactly what she meant. Maybe one-night-stand was just a metaphor for her time on the TARDIS. That would make a lot of sense. If so, he would tell her that she needed to choose her metaphors more carefully to avoid awkwardness between them.

Instead, of course, all he said was: "What?!"

He realized that his voice came in stereo, the woman on the screen saying the word the exact same time he did, with an irritated look on her face.

"Yeah, thought you'd say something like that."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack felt jealous. It was utterly ridiculous, and the mere presence of the emotion annoyed him, but it was there, jealousy for the Doctor apparently sleeping with someone, even though he had no idea who she was.

He turned his head back to the screen and watched as she looked out at the Doctor.

"You know I half thought you weren't even real, Jack," she said to him. "Thought maybe he'd made you up. Finally got him to talk about you once and this is what I get from it."

He ducked his head slightly, and looked back to the Doctor, but said, nor thought, a thing.

"I told you," she said to the Doctor. "We need to talk."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor let himself process this. He shook his head and tried to laugh it off. "You're not saying that we---"

The look on her face said that yes, very much, they did.

"When!?" he demanded.

"About five months ago," she said, sounding oddly flat in her irritation.

"I was dead five months ago," he snapped. Then, he relented. "Well, time travel. The TARDIS hasn't done much leaving the vortex in a number of years."

And even if it had, maybe she couldn't track him. Maybe it took her five months and the Doctor all these years to mesh up in timelines. He scratched the back of his head. Awkward didn't begin to cover it.

"So we were...what, exactly?" he asked.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack felt a slight pang at the mention of him being dead. He blinked tightly and took a slow breath, looking over half lidded eyes back at the screen.

That jealously was still there too. He wasn't a jealous man, or at least he never thought he was, and really what was the point. He noticed the ring on his finger, the Doctor was wearing his still. Biodampers, Jack reminded himself. He also reminded himself of the man who used to say he loved him and that the Doctor remembered that only peripherally.

He felt, suddenly, like he was very much in the way.

She shook her head. "What, like you're ever anything with anyone?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Sometimes I can be," the Doctor said, feeling verymuch like a deer in headlights. He could be, and he was, with Jack. Very sort of nearly almost. He almost sort of very nearly was with Rose. He was nearly almost very sort of with Romana, too. He could be.

He looked over to Jack and wanted to tell him that everything she was saying wasn't true at all. Well, apart from him missing Jack, which he remembered. It felt like they were taking those steps back.

She sighed. "And I thought, that night, that you saw, but you didn't. And I know that, now."

"I'm seeing you," the Doctor snapped, gesturing at the screen. "I'm looking at you. You're right there. What do you want from me? We what? Got lonely together, did something we regretted? Left on bad terms? I couldn't give you what you needed? What could I possibly give you now?"

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Maybe you should," Jack spoke up. "Talk. I could give you some space."

He looked at the Doctor, his head ducked just a little, and he shrugged. "Maybe she needs to. Maybe you owe her that much."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Let him go," he said to her. "I'm not going to run, you've got the TARDIS."

To Jack, he passed the mental note. This could all be a lie, Jack. You just have to trust me.

The woman on the screen looked hesitant, then reached down and opened one of the interior doors.

"Don't try anything."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack gave the Doctor a somewhat dubious look. "So I guess I'll go get a little sunbathing done," he said sarcastically.

I'll find the TARDIS, he thought to the Doctor. You be careful.

And on that, he looked to the screen and took a deep breath before leaving though the swung open door. It lead to a small ramp and then straight out to a balcony with direct access to the desert outside. He walked out and stared at the rich blue sky. Concentrating, he tried to locate the TARDIS.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

Jack left, and the door was shut behind him immediately. The Doctor wanted to comfort him, but had nothing to give. He didn't know what had happened with this woman, he didn't know why she mattered.

"Don't blame him for anything I've done," he said. "Neither of us know what went on between you and me."

He turned back to the woman and tried, desperately, to pull her into his memory. There were so many big, gaping holes during the two hundred years he was away from Jack. She must've fit somewhere in there, like a peg into a children's toy.

"Tell me what happened," he said.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Outside Jack felt a strange breeze. It didn't feel quite right in the barren desert. The sky was a serene blue and it was almost oddly peaceful.

But then it all changed.

The sky, like a dimmer switch had been turned, seemed to grow darker. Darker and darker still. It was almost as though the sun was being covered with a filter. He turned his head up to the sky and there, there where mere moments ago there'd been nothing, there was a big black and foreboding looking cloud.

Jack took a step back, standing tall and shocked. The cloud cracked loud with a shudder of thunder, and it started to rain.

As fast as he could, Jack took himself back inside the ship and banged his hand hard on the door to the room.

"Doctor. Doctor get out of there now. We have to leave. We have to go!"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"You never saw me," she said. "It was always talking about how things were. I finally got you to talk about Jack, cause I thought that's what you wanted. And I think maybe you did. And then you wanted to move on, but I guess only one night with me was moving on enough for you. Cause you didn't even wait around until the morning to run off to another adventure and pretend nothing happened."

The memory of that slowly started to fill in. He remembered her, an adventuress nearly caught in a rock fall that he saved. She was awestruck by him and he knew it, but he didn't feel the same. He liked her, but he couldn't love her back. But she wanted him to talk, she wanted him to open up. To him, it was almost like therapy. To her, it was like she was finally becoming someone important to him. And one night in her room, she leaned over and kissed him. It was against his morals to take advantage of her, but he did. He told himself he was moving on from Jack. That 150 years without him was a long enough celibacy. And it was good, it was just...not what he wanted. He led her on, and within a month, she was leaving in an angry fit. He didn't want her to pine for him, so he blocked her number and stayed away.

Until now.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Bea, I'm so sorry."

"Aren't you just?" she said. "I wanted to know if he was worth it, Doc. Was he worth all those years of waiting?"

There was suddenly a bang at the door, and the Doctor spun around. "What is it, Jack?"

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Doctor there's a storm!" Jack called through the door, both of his hands flat against the heavy metal. "It's here, it's found us. It's raining already and it's getting worse. We have to get out. She has to give us the TARDIS back so we can go. Doctor we can't stick around here. We can't stay!"

The commotion alerted two of the guards that were around earlier, and before he knew it Jack had two of them attaching themselves to his arms and attempting to drag him away.

"No," he said. "You don't understand I have to get out of here. We have to leave."

They pulled his arms behind his back and he felt some sort of laser cuffs being attached. "Oh great so you notice me now."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Like I told my guards, that's not possible. This is a desert," Bea---because as his memory filled, she was no longer just 'the woman', she was a companion and onetime lover---said.

"No, you don't understand, something is following us," he said. "Something big, something terrible, and something that can't be stopped."

"Yeah," Bea snapped. "Me." Fed up with it all, she picked up the intercom and pushed a button. "Get the Doctor and his companion down to the cells."

"No, Bea, you don't understand," the Doctor implored as the door opened and two more guards came in with laser cuffs ready for the Doctor.

"No," she replied. "You don't understand." With an irritated sigh, she moved her chair back and stood up, revealing the rest of her body to the Doctor. She turned to the side. Her apparent svelte figure didn't extend to her belly. Then, she reached over and shut the screen off.

He stared at the screen in shock, not even bothering to fight as the handcuffs went on him and he was dragged back down the hallway towards Jack.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack tugged fruitlessly against the cuffs. They were hard ones to break from without losing a hand in the process, and as much as if he did he'd have it grow back, it wasn't really something Jack wanted to deal with unless he really had to. Still, he tugged.

"You're going to the brig," one of the guards unhelpfully informed him.

He tugged again but just then the door was opened, and the Doctor was there but there was something wrong. He panicked. The Doctor looked distant, detached, and Jack worried what was wrong.

"Doctor what is it? What did she do? Talk to me."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor moved where the guards pushed him, staring blankly into space. It wasn't possible, his mind told him. It wasn't possible, he was far too old and that ship had long since sailed. But there it was. And he knew Bea, he remembered her. She wouldn't lie about this. She wasn't wrong, because she fancied that she was never wrong.

The guards pressed a pad on the wall and a dark room with a cot opened up. They were shoved inside, and the door was promptly resealed.

"She wasn't lying," he said. "I remember now. I remember everything."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

When the door was shut the room was filled with darkness. Jack could barely see much but the crack of light around the door. He moved back and kicked the door but it didn't budge.

He tried the cuffs again but no look, and so there was little more he could do but sit down and remember the fact he was actually quite considerably discomforted by dark and enclosed spaces. It really wasn't time for that.

He took long and controlled breaths, measuring himself not to panic.

"What, so you slept with her?" he asked quietly, the jealously still there over that too. Ridiculous.

"Wait what do you mean everything?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"There wasn't a lot of sleeping going on," the Doctor said, his voice deadpan. He didn't bother looking at the door, he didn't bother worrying about the TARDIS. He didn't know how to do anything but try to process what he'd just learned.

"Everything," he repeated. "The holes in my memory, Jack. They're gone. Filled in. It was like the last push I needed to remember."

He gave a small, cynical laugh. "A shock to the system to wake everything up."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack glanced down again, away, focusing on the gap of light at the bottom of the door. It hurt a little, and didn't the Doctor know that it would? Having him rub it in like that?

But the revelation made his head turn again. His heart sped slightly, and though he wanted to feel elated, it was almost like something was blocking that.

"So what does that mean?" he asked, feeling foolish and small, and having no idea whatsoever that there were bigger revelations to be had. "With us."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor gave him a Look.

"Don't think in that tone of voice, Jack, it's not like you waited around for me. Three days, remember?"

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Not like I waited around?" Jack repeated incredulously. "What about the last five years?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, well, I waited 150 before her," the Doctor snapped back. Not that he hadn't almost gotten into that sort of a situation before. Not that he hadn't been in that this-would've-happened-except-something-blew-up once before. But, in general, he lived a long life only on adventures and companionship. It was the way he liked it.

He began to pace the small room. He stopped and looked at Jack, furiously. "And it was only one night."

He paced again. "And I didn't realize this would happen."

Part of him wanted to be very, very excited. The rest of him was utterly petrified.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack very nearly jumped at the tone in the Doctor's voice. He focused on that gap at the bottom of the door, and focused too on his breathing.

"You were the one that left me, remember?" he said quietly. Remember. Oh because he could now, couldn't he?

"And I did wait for you. I waited years for you. It might have been three days between her and you but it had been 112 years since I'd seen you. Or," he sighed, "I thought it had."

He shook his head and closed his eyes a moment.

"What? Someone else got attached? And that still surprises you?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor didn't know how to say it. He didn't. He couldn't figure out how to form the words or breathe through his vocal cords and just say it. It was almost too unreal.

And then, without preamble, it came out of his mouth. "She's pregnant."

He swallowed. "Judging by her body shape right about now she's nearing five months."

He let out another cynical laugh. Surreal. That was really, really an excellent word for it. "Guess I'm not the last of the Time Lords. Again."