for quitehomoerotic: Welcome to the 27th century

[rude_not_ginger]

Follows this.

It was one thing, watching your companion be ripped apart.

One very terrible thing, mind you, but one thing. The Doctor stayed prone on the ground, the sound of Jack's death screams ringing in his ears as that thing, whatever it was, tore him into several unpleasant pieces. It reminded him of the Year That Wasn't, of Jack's screams while the Master tortured him and the Doctor's frail body keeping him from helping. That was torture, far more brutal than anything the Master's tools could produce.

Once the loud stomps of the creature faded away, the Doctor struggled to get to his feet and limped to the place where Jack had been.

It was another thing, having to find his body for it to regrow.

It took some time to find his upper torso, limp and lifeless. It didn't take too terribly long to drag said upper torso to a safe, empty cave not far from the forest's edge (after all, what Jack no longer had in height, he also lost in weight. It didn't take long for time to start snapping around him and his body to start to regrow.

That was something else all together. Muscle and bone formed out of nothing, and while Jack wasn't coherent, he was still alive, screaming and thrashing as he reformed. The Doctor pressed his fingertips to Jack's temple and tried to take away the pain, but when that failed, he pressed his mind into a quiet, comatose state.

While Jack repaired, the Doctor covered him with his coat and sat, waiting. For all that they'd fought, for all that the Doctor swore he'd never want Jack back on the TARDIS again, he did care about him. He wanted him happy, even if he wasn't certain he could handle having him so close. Jack was willing to die for the Doctor, and this was just another example of how he could.

But the Doctor wouldn't leave. Not this time.

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[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack had thought the rot of the Death's Spiral had been horrific, but that seemed nothing in comparison to this. This was living, but scarred and damaged and angry, covered in death in a somehow more real way than that planet. Dead animals, bodies. What was this place? It made Jack wonder if it wasn't that the Master was an exception to the rule amongst the Time Lords, maybe the Doctor was. Were they all like the Master? So hell bent on destruction, just because they could? Just to watch it crumbling beneath their fingers.

If Jack had had a respect for the Doctor before, it had increased a hundred times over seeing this place. How had he managed to be different?

"No such thing," Jack said, looking over at the Doctor. "You wouldn't think it," he said quietly, watching him. "That you're from this. Doctor, you're so much better."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"No," the Doctor said, quietly. "I'm just different."

He'd always been different. Radical, unfocused, strange. He'd never fit in, and it had become something he'd expected. He would always be different, always be outcasted, and he would never turn away someone who was, too.

And then, he ran away from Jack because he was afraid. If he'd still been under the influence of those drugs, he'd have been a ball of shame, then.

He kept the spear up, using it to occasionally knock a large insect out of the path and prod areas where something might hide.

"It'll be night again, soon," he said. "Explains why the days are so short. They want it to be night as often as it can be for the more frightening creatures, but not so long that they can't see what's going on."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Well I'm glad you are," Jack whispered back before glancing down at his feet, kicking off the insects that were crawling over his thin slippers.

"And anyway," he said, diceptively chirpy, "it's not all bad to be different. You're not the only one, Doctor."

He stepped into line behind the Doctor, but part of him felt it was wrong, the Doctor was the one with a weapon, not him. Okay it might not be a gun, but it could still do a great deal of damage. That wasn't something he wanted to see the Doctor have to do.

"They've got it all very well thought out, haven't they? Like a big toy set. Do they all have that tendency, Doctor?" he thought back to the Master, and how he so enjoyed treating Jack like a toy. It made him think of this.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor knew what Jack meant. "Not quite to the extent of some," he said. "The Master was also very different from the rest of the Time Lords. More inventive, rebellious. Ambitious. Time Lords were content to just be in control of everything. The Master wanted to own it."

He prodded the insects out of a small cave and pulled the key from his pocket to set as a shield around the area. "Seems they didn't recognize a Type 40 key, either," he said. "For the best."

He clung to the spear as he went about clearing out the cave and making room amongst the rocks for them to hide. On any other world, he wouldn't have thought about holding a weapon. Here, on Gallifrey, it was his responsibility.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Inventive," Jack nodded, "yeah, I'll agree there." None of it sat right though. That this place would be something of Time Lord design. It didn't fit the image Jack had painted in his mind of the Doctor's people. He had wanted them all to be like him. He should have known they wouldn't have been. The Doctor was one of a kind.

In the cave Jack pulled at some of the dead foliage that crept around the walls, checked it to make sure there was nothing unpleasant waiting for them.

"So what happens from here, Doctor?" he asked, feeling utterly useless. "Usually I can help, or, well, you know me, blunder on in, but here? I mean, this is Gallifrey. What do I do? How can I help?"

He slid himself down to the floor and pulled his knees up a little, sighing. "I'm always getting you into trouble."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

I'd always hoped he'd use it for good. He was such a likeable child, but he grew up angry." He shook his head and dropped down to the ground next to Jack. He didn't want to talk about the Master. That was the last thing he needed.

Back on his home world, but nowhere near his home. "It's not your fault. The Rift can be blamed, if anything."

"Doesn't matter. We get to the Tower," the Doctor instructed. "At any cost, you need to get there. The worst they can do to me is kill me. You need to get out, off this world."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"People with power sit on a knife's edge, people like him. People like you. Everything you know, everything you could do. Sometimes it'd be so easy to go another way. I've thought the same myself. I think it's easier to be harsh than to be strong. But we try. We really do try."

Jack let his head fall to the side and he looked at the Doctor. Cautiously, he reached out a hand and let it touch against his leg. Just a gesture of companionship.

"Yeah," he laughed, "the Rift. And who's job is it to look after that?" He shook his head and rubbed a hand over his face, it was sore and uncomfortable, and he could feel the bruising under his fingers.

"One day you'll learn that I'm not going to let that happen," he said with a laugh in the back of his throat. "I'm not letting anyone kill you, Doctor, and I don't care where that gets me. You don't like that fact, I know that, but you know what? Suck it up and live with it. We get out of this together, or we don't get out of it at all."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor didn't pull away from Jack's touch. It felt companionable. It felt good, knowing he was here and not alone. It was bad now. It would be worse alone.

He leaned over and touched the side of Jack's chin, bringing his face into view. The bruises were healing, but the split and the sores were still dark and visible.

Bruises he'd inflicted.

It was really about time for one of those apologies.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Jack, I'm so sorry."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack looked at the Doctor, directly at him, and didn't drop his gaze. Part of him wanted to, it was hard to look at the Doctor. It didn't used to be, maybe this was a recent thing. He never used to feel so raw.

He smiled at the apology. He didn't need it, though he'd be lying if he said he didn't want it.

"You don't have to be," he whispered to him. "But thank you. For saying it."

Giving him a long look, he smiled, "I'm not all bad, am I?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"What makes you think you're bad at all?" the Doctor asked. He paused and considered that. "Well. Might be from a few choice things I've said, yeah? Said in anger, though, shouldn't...really be taken too seriously. Unless they're right, which I wasn't."

He pulled his hand away from Jack's face in order to scratch the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Suppose I've got a list of things to apologize for. Not sure this night is going to be long enough for all of them."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

It wouldn't be quite accurate to say Jack took pleasure in watching the Doctor seem to squirm a little, but nor would it be quite accurate to say he didn't.

"Like I say," he smiled sideways, "I don't need any apologies. But... if you've got something you want to say..."

He wasn't expecting any specific something, but there were a few choice things he'd like to hear, even if he was certain most of them would never be said.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, well, maybe when we've got a night long enough for all of my apologies," he said with a smile. "And after a long dinner. Which would be particularly nice right about now."

He pulled the wad of poisoned food from his pocket and showed it to Jack. He wasn't sure he was hungry enough to deal with another round of drug-induced hysteria.

"Perfectly edible, if we think we can handle ourselves."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack rolled his eyes. Yeah, put it off as ever. Maybe one day he'd actually get something out of him. He certainly wouldn't stop trying.

He looked down at the food in the Doctor's hand. Really, the experience hadn't been the best one, but Jack was hungry. His stomach felt as though it was digesting itself. Well, that's what you'll get when you get a brand new stomach.

"Hmm," he said looking down at it. He had learned to control it last time. Or was that just that it was wearing off.

"Well, I'm game if you are."

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

This was a really, really, really bad idea. But he thought he could control the poison, considering he knew it would be there and could control his own metabolism fairly well. Well, better than fairly well, he was a Time Lord. He started to break the food in half. Jack, on the other hand...

"We might be better off starving," he said. "If this takes us over again, one of us, or both of us, could be immobile for a while."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"What? Worried I'll pin you against a wall again?" Jack smirked. "Well don't worry, that's not remotely on my mind." Well that was a lie, he always had a little part of his mind that had space for pleasant imaginations such as that, but he didn't expect it would cause a problem. He had too many other emotions he could focus on.

"Doctor, technically, I've never had a meal. This stomach really needs a proper christening. And like you say, it's going dark, we can hardly walk around out there when it's pitch black, we need to wait a while anyway. What harm can we really do in a cave?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor looked back at Jack's bruised face. Quite a lot of harm could be done in a tight space like this. Though there was really no way around it, they would need sustenance in order to make it the last leg of the journey to the Tower.

He handed half of the block to Jack.

"I have the feeling that we're going to be regretting this later," he said. He broke off a corner of the food , closed his eyes, and popped it into his mouth.

Still tasted like cardboard.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack took hold of the 'food' and grinned over towards the Doctor, "Probably," he agreed with a smile as he popped a piece into his mouth, "oh well, it'll give us something to look forward to."

He finished off the food quickly. Unpleasant as it was it'd hopefully fill a gap and stop his stomach from consuming itself, which really, had to be a bonus.

He dusted his hands together and glanced over at the Doctor. "So, should I fit you with your boxing gloves yet?"

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Very funny." The Doctor finished off his food as well and waited for the unpleasant swirl of the cave around him. Nothing yet, but it would be on its way, he imagined.

"I just feel tired," he said. "I can't sleep yet. Another day or two, I think. But I'm tired."

Gallifrey was the final straw. First nearly losing Jack, then the TARDIS, then re-seeing the Master, feeling him out there, fighting Jack, and now Gallifrey. It was too much. It was all just too much to deal with at once.

He had the strangest urge to cry, then. It wasn't the time or place and he could hold himself together (for now). But it was briefly there.

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

Jack could understand that. He could empathise with that. Being tired. Jack had spent so many years tired and searching. Worn by the things he'd seen, the things he did. They'd had a heavy few days, so many different emotions, it was hard to imagine it'd only been a few days really. That it'd only been a few weeks since the Doctor found him in that bar.

A lot really had happened.

"I know," Jack sighed and reached his hand out to touch the Doctor's leg again, giving a gentle squeeze. "But you'll be home soon. Back to the TARDIS, and she'll be glad to see you. And then you can curl up and rest as long as you like, in that big old bed of yours. Assuming you've got a big old bed that is."

He felt a sudden wave of sadness that he'd never step foot on the TARDIS again, that even as they were, they were writing a final chapter of a story that he didn't want to end. Oh this really wasn't an emotion he wanted to take over.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"Nah, reasonably-sized," the Doctor said. "Four-poster, wood. Carved for me by the gnomes at Villanguard about...Ooooooh, six hundred years ago? Very well put-together. Had a fan try to buy it from me for £2,000, once, but it's far too nice to give up that easily."

He felt relaxed, talking about that, which was odd. He didn't often talk about the things he owned. Maybe the drug was taking a different effect this time, loosening his tongue.

So long as he didn't hurt Jack again, he could cope.

"Though, if the last few weeks are any example, I'll be sleeping on the floor of the Zero Room again."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Four poster? Is that so? Very nice, Doctor, very regal. I like it. And Villanguard, I don't suppose you picked up any bananas while you were there?" he laughed warmly, and it felt nice. "Fans? You've got fans? Oh and don't you dare say I'm one of them because I won't be held responsible for my actions."

Jack felt warm, like he was being heated from the inside, a little like the afterburn of a nice brandy. It was pleasant, and he smiled, nudging the Doctor playfully by the shoulder.

"Hmm, either that or with me," he teased.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"No, no, you're not a fan, Jack, you have a reasonably sane appreciation of me. Remember LINDA? Drove me mad through four incarnations, that lot. Terrible what happened to them, though." He chewed on the inside of his lip as he thought about them. They had a lot going for them, but none of it seemed to work out.

He raised an eyebrow and found himself smiling lazily over at Jack.

"Hmm. I had thought about that. Course, it would require actually figuring out some way to properly apologize or ask you back onto the TARDIS properly and I really think that this time around the drug in the food is making me talk rather than simply think."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Reasonably sane?" Jack laughed, "Well, I suppose I did keep your hand in a jar, I'll give you that one. LINDA? What that group of kids? I had a phone call from one of those once, haven't a clue how they got my number."

The Doctor's smile made that warm feeling swell even more, and his head buzzed as though that one brandy was more like ten.

It was the words though, rather than the look that really made him happy.

"Is that an invitation?" he asked, grinning like a fool. And then belatedly, he realised what else the Doctor had said.

"Oh you'd thought about that? What, inviting yourself into bed with me now are you? Careful, Doctor, you're getting as forward as I am."

Jack shifted on the ground, turned his body a little to twist and face the Doctor a little more full on.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"I had several. Don't even want to know where they got my number! Not to mention the offer for the bed! She said she wanted to sleep somewhere I'd slept. Lonely Assassins and Vashda Nerada have nothing on that woman."

That sort of a grin, that was something he'd missed since the flat back on Cardiff. A real, genuine Jack grin. Before he could stop himself, he found he was saying exactly that. "See, that's what I missed. Smiles like that, we need more smiles like that from you."

He found himself feeling suddenly terribly embarrassed by that admission. "That's not the sort of thing I say," he said. "It's the sort of thing that ends up thought not said, and I'm saying these things anyway. Fairly embarrassing, actually."

[quitehomoerotic.livejournal.com]

"Maybe they found it in the yellow pages," Jack suggested sarcastically. "Would it be under D for Doctor or T for Time Lord?"

Jack laughed at the admission, and his glance fell down, still a smile on his face, a private little happy smile. He didn't think he'd get any more of those with the Doctor again. It was nice that he was. Very nice.

"Well you do make me smile, Doctor," he said, reaching his hand up to find the Doctor's.

When he blinked, his eyes swam and yes, that's definitely the effect he was getting this time, a drunken happy high.

"Between you and me?" he whispered as though it would be more private that way. "You don't have to worry what you say to me. I mean, I think I've said kinda a lot to you, don't you?"

Jack could quite easily take advantage of this situation, he thought. What would he like to ask the Doctor? What wouldn't he like to ask the Doctor would have probably been a shorter list. But it would be wrong to take advantage, wouldn't it?

Jack never claimed to be perfect. "So you want me to travel with you, do you, Doctor? Or would you prefer I travel with you?" He laughed, well, giggled. Oh he really did feel happy.